I think that its just going to be one of those days....

Today I just feel kinda emotional. I dont really have anything to be emotional about, usually a very positive person, but today just seem to be affected by things on a deeper level. Perhaps I am tired, it was definitely hard to get up this morning with losing that one hour of sleep. We had to do the time change on Saturday night, which I had forgotten about until Sunday morning, so lost an hours of sleep, even though I had tried to goto bed an hour earlier.

My daughter too found it hard to get out of bed this morning, but I guess being younger certainly helps you keep up the energy levels alot easier than being 31!

This weekend was okay, yesterday my "lovely" mother in law called AGAIN (did I mention she calls pretty much every day?) and asked my husband what he was doing yet again. Almost like she has to keep a daily tally on where he is and what he is doing and with whom. Then proceeds to ask what myself and my daughter were doing. At this point, my husband had just woken up and had not asked me of our plans for the morning. So she said if we were not doing anything to give her a call and she would come over. So, would anyone like to take a guess as to if I called her back or not? Yesterday I managed to get the rest of the baby clothes washed and folded, now sitting in the baby room to be put into the dresser. Even though I am not due until May 28th, I have still managed to get into a bit of a nesting habit. Keeping the house extra clean, getting babies room ready. I just need to get the crib off my sister and buy a mattress and I can set the rest of the room up!

From when my daughter was born until now, I have kept EVERY piece of clothing she has ever owned and stored it. Based on u/s saying this baby too is a girl, I started on Thursday going through all the bins/boxes and taking out what I wanted to keep, and putting the rest all in a pile. This left me 5 GARBAGE BAGS FULL of clothes from newborn to size 4 that I will not be using for this baby, and still leaving me plenty of clothes for the baby that is coming. Can anyone else tell that I went overboard? Wondering how many others have done the same thing, or will more than likely when their firsts arrive.

As for emotional, could be over tired, could be pregnancy hormones, or both, just feel like I could cry at the drop of a hat, feel bad for my sister, who is trying to run her own cleaning business, and my Aunt is always complaining, trying to make things more difficult, and yet my sister puts up with it. Would love it if MIL does not call today. My husband now works out of a different shop (used to work from our garage) so she can't just pop over at our house anymore!! (YEA!!!) and can't just call our house, she would have to call his cell phone, which means I dont even have to know that she called! Did I mention I get annoyed just seeing her number on the call display? Thats how badly this woman affects me.

She came over on Thursday to help me go through baby stuff and arrange things (which was nice of course) but she looked at me, and asked me if I was bigger now (at 29 weeks) Than when I was about to give birth to my daughter, as she said I look it :(. I explained that I had only gained 22lbs so far with this pregnancy, and was 35lbs when I gave birth to my daughter. I would love it if this woman just kept her opinions to herself. She doesn't seem to think about how it affects other people. I always agree that to each their own, and its just an opinion, but when your opinion is always negative, and not going to benefit the other person at all, then why say it?

Updated pregnancy picture to follow

Do you believe in "GOD"?

I am not trying to get anyone to believe or not to believe. I really do believe that there is no "wrong" answer to this question. Either you do or your don't, and some believe in one particular god while others believe in another. Again, I do not believe that there is a wrong answer in regards to this question I believe that life has its ways of either bringing god into your life or temporarily out of it.

I do not consider myself to be religious, but do consider myself to be spiritual. I do believe that there is a "god" on the other side, but I feel that his role in our lives is that of a "president" or perhaps a "prime minister" or "king" depending on where you live. I believe he is responsible for the well being of everyone, trying to oversee life as we know it, but not one to interfere. He wants us to learn, he wants us to do things for ourselves, and have his guidance and strength. I believe this is why people at times feel "failed" when they ask for "his" help and do not receive it. I believe in this fashion, most times his hands are "tied". Hes always looking out for everyone the best way he can.

Now when it comes to asking for help, other than only relying on the people in our lives (loved ones, friends, co workers..etc) We can also ask for help in regards to our spirit guides. They often will try and help us choose the right path in life if we are feeling lost. At times appearing in dreams, bringing new people into your life that will help you with your current lesson/direction or sending you "signs" if your paying attention. Other people that can help are loved ones who have passed over, and again try to find ways to show you that they are listening and will try and help straighten out the situation as well.

I also believe that you may ask for help from "Mother Azna". Shes often refered to as "mother god" perhaps the wife/partner of God himself? Shes one that has no problems with getting directly involved in our lives if we really need her help. I often find that when I am feeling very vulnerable in life in regards to a certain situation it is her that I am asking for "protection". For example, in the last two weeks i have come EXTREMELY close to getting into a car accident. Before the previous weekend alone was 2 times while I was driving that it was EXTREMELY close to being hit. I dont believe that these would have been considered my fault, but with having my daughter in the car I certainly dont care who's fault it would be, I dont want to get into an accident! In any of my previous accidents (yes during my life I have been in a few accidents - not all my fault) I have usually been given a 3 day warning of when it would happen, and then it does. So when these two close calls happen, I was getting worried. I asked for mother azna to please provide her protection and help keep us safe. It was the very same reason why on our trip to Oregon the previous weekend that I asked my husband to drive (the 6 hours there and back) And during this time, there was another 2 times that there was an "almost" accident even with my husband driving. I would consider these close calls.

Yesterday while driving to meet up with my family for dinner about a 30 min drive, as I exited the freeway, I was turning right to go over the overpass... if I had continued on, this semi truck that was barreling through the light would have completely rammed me on the left side (driver side) probably seriously injuring myself and my daughter, or worse. It was a split second thing and I truly believe that I have someone looking out for me in regards to this.

Mother Azna will help anyone who is requesting help. Shes not too picky about who she will help, and if its a situation that she can do then she will. So if your asking her for the lottery numbers, I think your out of luck! I believe if you feel you are in trouble, or need help with something that has got you down, this is when she will try to lend you a helping hand. I know for me, when I ask for her help (letting her know what I want her to do - like protecting my daughter and myself in our car during our drive) then she will help in that way in what she can) So if your asking for help in getting a new car, chances are you should ask your guides for help.

I also find that when I am feeling negative, or down in regards to any situation, before I let it the get the best of me and make my day feel horrible, I will often close my eyes, palms facing up and see a white light coming down and going into my hands, feeling more refreshed and happy again and know that I can deal with the situation at hand. Its a very good calming feature that I use, and doesn't take alot of time at all.

I basically am not trying to get anyone to change faith with my blog today, its just about letting you know that there is more than one person out there looking out for you, and depending on how your feeling or thinking, that there is someone always on your side willing to help you out, regardless of what faith you practice of dont practice. I know that God, like mother Azna goes by many names, and will answer to anything:)

If you have any questions or comments, feel free to either email me at cheri22@gmail.com with "azna" in the subject line or post a comment in this post

I need "help"! lol

For the past week or just a bit less, I have been getting alot of emails from "maelor' deamons. I am not sure if I spelled that right, but basically an email telling me that my emails are not going through and being returned to sender! First of all, the emails that are being bounced back are NOT sent from me, and are more spam than anything. So I have no idea how someone is able to use my cheri22@gmail.com email address and attach it to their email to make it "appear' That I am sending this out when I am not. I have verified in my gmail through multiple of the emails that I am NOT sending it so confident that I do not have a virus and that someone does not have access to my account. I do not send out spam at all, nor have anything to do with the product or service that they are trying to advertise (I think it has something to do with an online university! lol.) Each time an email comes in as undeliverable, I have to mark it was "spam" so that it notifies gmail, but honestly, seems like ALOT of emails (7-10 everytime I check) are being labeled this way so no idea how many are being sent.

So, how do I go about putting a stop to this? Is there any way to contact gmail and let them know what is happening? Can I up security of any kind to put a stop to this? Its more annoying than anything and would hate to think that any of my clients are receiving spam labeled from me when it in fact is NOT!

I am still looking for stories of inspiration, stories of encounters...etc. Positive stories, to add to Wednesdays posts. As previously mentioned I do trade a prediction bypass (8.00 value) for your storey if posted. You can post as "anon" if you wish so when I post your storey I can leave out your name if it makes it easier:) If interested, email cheri22@gmail.com with "storey" in the subject line for me to locate it easier.

Is there something "wrong" with the blog?

I have seen in previous weeks barely any comments on the blog at all, and starting to get worried that its not allowing people to post and that I need to change a setting? In regards to the blog contests or even my ask Jeni, usually there are a few responses, or with update posts there are comments and for the last few weeks there has been 0. So not sure if people just dont have anything to ask/add/answer or if people are having a problem with posting comments into the comment section? If anyone can provide me some feedback as to their experience if they are having problems..etc. I would greatly appreciate it. Feel free to email cheri22@gmail.com with "feedback" listed in the email so I can locate it easier.

I have recently been trying to look up books online about how to deal with invasive Mother in laws. I find that lately by avoiding my mother in law as much as possible that its been "better" but finding myself putting more effort into avoiding her than it was to just see her and deal with it! lol. Shes calling pretty much everyday, seems to still show up constantly and often gives me her "opinion" and or "advice" that really does not makes sense, is a total lie, or just completely misleading. I would rather not have to deal with her and half the time wish she would just move back to Ontario! (5 hour plane ride!) I dont want to be this way, as being "negative' and avoiding her is certainly not easy, and not good either for anyone involved. I have tried talking to her, but it always goes in one ear and out the other as if what i said does not matter.

Once she called, and was talking to me, asked me what my husband was doing, then asked to talk to him, and the second he got on the phone, asked him what he was doing...as if what I had just said was a lie. I am so worried I am going to "warp" my daughters view of her grandmother with the way I react, and I do not want to do that.

I at times have gone out of my way to try and include her in our lives, more or less on my own terms. I find it easier to deal with her when I am "prepared" for her visit. I invited her shopping with my daughter and I and out for lunch. As we are shopping for a baby car seat, she says "so are you going to bother breastfeeding this time, or are you just going to go straight to the bottle". For most people, this might seem like an innocent question, but it often gets me under the skin. When pregnant with my first, she INSISTED on buying me some formula even after I told her I was planning on breastfeeding and did not want it, she kept telling me that most women can not breastfeed and that I needed formula. So it seems already shes being unsupported in the fact that I want to try again and do it better this time, being more prepared with breastfeeding. My last attempt with my daughter had me breastfeeding her until she was 2.5 months old and then I pumped for 1.5 months. I was not informed with breastfeeding, started pumping and bottle feeding because I was constantly second guessing myself and the amount she was getting, and let my mother in laws comments get to me. This time, I will try again and do what I can to provide for this baby and NOT let my mother in law bother me.

Shes got an answer for everything, and its not accurate. I told her of a place near our house called "falcon ridge" there are ALOT of falcons and eagles around lately (I love to watch them fly) and I said how we had a falcon in our backyard a week ago, and how many eagles that were around. This led her to try and "top" that by stating that she saw at least 6 eagles flying around the zellers mall when the fruit stand opened. I dont think she realized that eagles do not eat fruit. That they are mostly meat eaters and certainly would not be circling a grocery store for the fruit! lol. I said nothing.

Well, I have come to the conclusion, that yes, my husband is "enabling" my mother in law to meddle in our lives and drive us all crazy, but all I can do is stand my ground and find ways to "accept" who she is, and just deal with it. Hoping that some of the self help books on dealing with crazy mother in laws might help shed some light on the way she behaves and why, and give me better tools to deal with her personality and not be so affected by her craziness!

a little late... but ASK JENI

I was meaning to post this on Friday as it was the last friday of the month, but our family ended up going on a family vacation from Friday till today (got home around 4pm) so posting tonight!

As most of you will remember, my friend Jeni is very knowledgeable about women and fertility and is willing to answer some questions for some people. Please note, she is NOT a fertility expert and does not have any degrees in this field, just extremely knowledgeable about this subject and willing to help answer questions, point people in the right direction and offer her advice/opinion.

She will answer up to three peoples questions. So if your interested in having your question answered, please respond in the comments section with your question. If its too personal, just leave your email address that you can be contacted at. If your one of the top three people to respond you will receive an email to find out your question and it can be done that way.

As for an update for me, I am now 28 weeks as of today. I had my dr appt on Thursday before we left, and found out I had a bladder infection, so taking some anti-biotics for that. Spent a nice weekend away with just my husband and my daughter about a 6 hour drive from where we live. Was right by the ocean. My daughter kept referring to it as our "home" and didn't really want to leave.

Tomorrow is open blog night, so was wondering if anyone had any specific questions they were hoping to get covered, or even an area that they would like to know more about?