I think that most of you will remember in my previous posts last month and this, I really felt that one of my current life lessons was about learning how to say no. That in my life, I seem to always help people and go over and above what is asked. Lets just say that my name is "Mrs Nice Girl" (vs mr. nice guy!) This is usually a good quality to have HOWEVER, there are certainly times when I seem to get it go too far. That I tend to let people take advantage of my generous nature and cant say "no". I tend to volunteer myself ALOT to the point where I am actually putting my self out, rearranging my life to accommodate someone else. I have been trying to learn that its okay to say no if it does not work for me, but still happy that I can still say yes if I can fit it in.
As I mentioned, someone hit my van. They did not want to go through our insurance company as they said that they did not want it to be on their insurance. Mrs Nice Girl said I would do what I could and had actually thought perhaps just going through our insurance would be easier.
I talked to her on Tuesday perhaps, and suggested that we goto insurance after getting an estimate for my repairs at 1000.00! She again said she did not want to, and that she would rather have her friend fix it. (He is supposed to be in this industry and a professional). Well, here I am agreeing to do it this way after she made me feel guilty about her not having the money to fix it, and not wanting it to be on her insurance. We agreed to allow her friend to come to my house on Friday and get the bumper and take it back to his shop to repair it. He would then come back on Saturday and put it back on and then everything would be over and done with. This would mean that I would only be without my vehicle for one day...... YEA RIGHT! The guy called today around 5pm saying he could not make it and would be back TOMORROW.. so that is now TWO days I am without a vehicle. Frustrating to say the least.
Now completely out of character for me, I talked to the women who did the damage and explained that I was disappointed with how things were going,. That I did NOT cause the accident and yet I was being put out on the Saturday without a van. I suggested that a way to make it up to me would be to give me a 10.00 gift card to my favorite Tim Horton's (I love their tea). I would never normally ask for anything as its just not me, but with everything that I have done to help this women out and trying to be accommodating, I thought it would be the least she could do. (Hopefully this does not sound greedy by asking for that! lol). Well, I have seen her two times since I asked, nope.. she had agreed to it on the phone but sounded peeved I would even suggest such a thing... I think that this situation is my life lesson standing right in front of me and again trying to show what I am meant to learn..
You see, your life lesson will keep repeating itself in different scenarios until you learn it. So once you realize what it is that keeps happening and the way you react to it each time and change that pattern, you can move on to that next life lesson. So, that's what I am going to do. Take the time to decide what is right for me and my family. To help people when I am able to without putting myself out any more than necessarily, and realizing that I can say no. (gosh even writing that down sounds hard, but going to have to do it!)
(please note, this topic does NOT apply to helping people with my psychic abilities. I truly believe that this gift is meant to share in whatever positive way I can)
So in my situation, had it happened to you, would you too have gone out of your way to try and help and be accomodating? Would you have just not bothered and gone through the insurance? (I would not have to pay anything and been given a rental while the van was being repaired) Did you think asking for the 10.00 gift card was reasonable considering what I had done to help?
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7 comments:
Cheri,
No asking for the $10.00 gift card was not greedy AT ALL. However she's probably not going to give it to you because she sounds....stingy...or maybe a better phrase is, she seems like she's only concerned with looking out for herself. I would have gone through the insurance company. Because usually the people who do not want to use the insurance company...are always looking for a "way out of responsibility." As mean as this may sound...(it's really not mean) it's not your fault she's in this situation. It's not your fault you got hit by her. So therefore why are you punishing yourself (out 2 days with your van, dealing with the run around) when this isn't your fault??? It's a messy situation when you deal with the person themselves, and sometimes it gets messy when you go through insurance, but at least I know my agent is on my side and I'm not in it alone. I would have went through the insurance and said, it is was it is.
I hope everything works out for the best for you, because you really are a really really nice person!!!!!!!! Too nice as you said, and it hurts my spirit when nice people always end up getting the short stick!!!! (that's what happens to me too, but I've started standing up for myself and it feels REALLY REALLY GOOD...) it takes time ; )
I do not think I could say anything better than what Candy said and I agree with you and what she said 100%. I think being asked for a gift card may have shocked her or taken her by surprise, but if she reflects back what has gone on she should realize that's the very least she could do for you. 10 dollars is not a lot when you could of easily done from day one taken this incident up with the insurance company. I understand completely what its like to be the nice person who gets taken advantage. It was more so in friendships and relationships, but I have and still learning to stand up for me. Its like the weird thing how we treat strangers better than those we are closer to when it should be the opposite. However, in this scenario instead of treating the stranger better you should be treating yourself with the same kindness and care you give to others if that makes sense.
Hoping everything resolves itself
Hi Cheri
I am the same way as you. I have trouble saying no. And always feel guilty at some level. Its awful. I am learning that lesson myself too. I went through the same thing with my van, after a lady hit my back lift door. It was handled through insurance finally but i tell you she didn't want to at first. And i would have ask for a $50 Tim card! LOL! But you are a wonderful person and you have a kind heart. It sucks when people take advantage of that!
I had a sort of similar experience, I hit another person's van at my daughter's school-there was no damage to my van and very little on the other van. At first I didn't want the accident to go through my insurance but since I'm a road star-it didn't make any difference to my premiums.
Since you've clearly been put out more than once, the least she could do is buy you a $10.00 gift card, it should be $50.00 for all the hassle you're going through!
I have learned to let the insurance companies battle it out. I have worked for State Farm before, in college, and worked Auto Claims....I have seen that side...sucks! Since I am a police officer, I know the other side and still sucks! In wrecks, I have requested an officer make scene for statement purposes. Around here, if there are no injuries, they won't show. My husband got into a wreck a year ago, and the guy admitted fault on scene, but my husband didn't call the cops....like I told him! Soooo, he turned around and filed on our insurance! It went to subrogation and in the end, each party paid for their own damages. His insurance company said we were at fault, yet the diagram clearly showed his insured at fault. Totally ridiculous!!! It is sad when you try to work it out as adults between eachother, and you who is not at fault, get's dumped on!
Oh Cheri I felt so bad for you reading this post, and it also made me mad. I think that lady should definately give you the gift certificate. If you ask me, she is being extremely selfish! I would have reported it to insurance, but at least next time you know! Good luck with everything!
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