its exactly four months from the day my mom died. This is not the main thing that has me upset, but probably plays a part. We have decided (as in me, my sister and my mom's husband) have figured out a place to put part of her ashes, and plan to do this sometime next week. Afterwards, heading to the Vancouver Aquarium in the hopes of turning a sad day into one that is happy. (especially for the kids).
Last year for my birthday, my mom bought me some plants, that enjoy the shade, and should come back each year. Out of the 7 plants (or possibly 6) she gave me, only 4 of them came back this year. I was a bit upset about this, but what can you do. Fast forward to to last month. My mother in law while "helping" with the weeding, thought one of the plants was a weed and tore it out. I was CRUSHED. I know its not my mom shes pulling it, but its something I had that was special to me at this point and meant alot (which she did know as it was a discussion a few weeks previous)
I didn't say anything to her as I am sure she would have felt badly, but I was still upset. Then take it to today. Its my mom's husbands birthday today, so myself and my two girls and him went out for a nice lunch. Went back and visited with him for a bit and then headed home for the one hour drive.
I get home and we head outside. My inlaws have been busy in the backyard chopping part of a dead pine tree (or something like that type) and I look down below. My plants that my mom gave me are GONE.. Yes they were below the site where they were working but my first instinct was that they were gone.. I actually believe it or not started to cry. I couldn't believe it. I noticed over to the left that they had been moved, but one of the plants does not look too good. I am still a bit upset about this. My mother in law called today to explain that she "had" to move them because the tree they were trying to cut parts of it down where starting to come close to crushing the plants. I understand the logic in this, but still.. I guess what can you do.
I guess its been kinda like that for me today. I am a very positive person by nature, and most times done stay upset/mad for long. I know that it sounds silly. I guess just one of those days where things affect you a bit more strongly than others.
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4 comments:
Your day does sound sad, but sometimes these are the moments for growth. We need these moments to reflect on the people (your mother) we love and ourselves. You are generally a very happy person and very strong so its okay to feel sad from time to time.
As for your mother in law is she the type of person who often pushes boundaries? If she does I think your husband should have a calm talk about being careful next time and how those plants mean to you. If this is something that she doesnt do often then I can why its not worth upsetting her if she truly did not what she was doing.
This sort of reminded me of my cousin who lost her mom few years ago was devastated when her mother's dog passed away because it was like her own kind of connection to her mom. The dog was a symbol of the love of her mother. And it hurt her a lot when the dog passes away. Like in a way the plants were to you.
Well, I hope tomorrow and the next couple weeks get better for you!
Amanda
Its not silly at all for you to be sad. It is understandable that the plants mean so much to you. I hope your plants do well in their new spot and I hope tomorrow is better for you.
It's natural to attach memories to things, especially when they are living like plants. I cried when my hubby ran over a plant with the lawnmower and I didn't even have a special connection with it!
Maybe when your in-laws are done hacking at the tree, you can plant more plants under it and make it into a memorial garden for your mom where you can remember when you enjoy it.
Even if not all the plants came from her physically, they will all serve the same purpose, to remind you of her.
Sad! I hope you will feel better in upcoming days.
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