I just dont do "scary" anymore!

Well, I have finally decided that I am no longer going to watch scary movies, like horror flicks based on my last nights dream. I know that alot of dreams can be windows to your soul and what your feeling or needing to work on, but why can't it be a pleasant happy dream rather than one that your so glad you woke up, and not wanting to go back to sleep after!



Last night, I dreamt that I was being chased. (those are the fun ones right!) and I was with my friends Michelle and Melanie, and our families had been turned into these "demon" like creatures. They were chasing us, wanting to eat us and turn us into them. We ran into this cabin of some sort (alot of my dreams feature a cabin lately!) and "they" showed up. They seemed to be distracted, we convinced them to wait a few hours before trying to eat us as we wanted to do something nice for them first. When everyone seemed to be distracted, we headed out the door and down the mountain. There was snow so we decided to stop and get some snow boots on, and put on cross country skis so we could go faster. Now, the boots I wanted to put on, I knew that I needed size 18 boots and the ones that were supposed to be that size where light purple. There was only ONE in that size, and the rest were oddly shaped, and in an orange/beige color. I figured I didn't care, would put on one of each even if the other was too big, and just make due as I was desperate to get out of there. All of us were panicking that it was taking too long to get everything together, and that we would not make it out in time. I got the boots on, grabbed a scarf and decided to grab a second scarf and wrap it around as well. Then my mittens were on, and I noticed my friend michelle filling up a back pack up with food, but was putting in boxes of cereal! We new at this time we were really cutting it close, and I started to panic...this is when I woke up! I was so glad I did! It was now 4:30am at this point and I was tempted to just stay away as I did not want to fall back asleep and start off where I left off! It probably took me about 30 minutes to fall back asleep but it was not a good one, woke up a few times of course, and eventually got up for the day at 7:30am for work. I still remember this dream vividly in my mind, so figured I would write about it here, give you all a laugh and "dissect" it for you all. I use http://www.dreammoods.com/ to interpret my dreams and I do have a dream diary that i have. A great friend made it for me, and I keep all the "odd' Dreams written in there with their interpretation. (dreammoods was down today, so used http://www.thecuriousdreamer.com/)



So, for the fun of it, here is what it has to say!



"18"
Dreaming about age 18 can represent newness, beginning a phase, making a fresh start; or responsibility, freedom, self-sufficiency, validation. It could also mean there are things you need to learn through experience (learn the hard way), as is often true at age 18.


"boots"
The image or impression you present to others as you make forays into the world, work with others, and accomplish things in the world around you. Your visibility to others as you go about your business in the world.

"purple"
The color purple can mean a sense of royalty or distinction, fun, richness of life, or a sense of individuality and not afraid to be yourself and express yourself.



"Snow"
The idea of covering up, blanketing, hiding or obscuring what lies beneath.


"Scarf"
Pay attention to the scarf, bandana, ascot, etc., its context (for example, which body part it covers), and its role in the dream (for example and its characteristics, such as color). Possible meanings include:
Protection, obscuring, or disguising what is represented by the body part the scarf is covering

(neck)Something that connects two significant things together—as a person's neck connects the head and body
A bottleneck or slowdown in a process
A person's voice, personal expression, expression of opinions, etc.
Vulnerability, as the neck is one vulnerable area of the body
Sensuality, sensitivity, beauty, or grace

"gloves"

Self-protection, as in protecting one's self from others' cold or negative emotions the way gloves protect a person from cold temperatures
The masking of a person's identity or true motivations (as gloves mask a person's uniquely identifying fingerprints)
A person's denial of their own humanness or unique self, such as trying to feel no compassion or trying to act anonymously

"Scared"
Feelings in dreams often represent themselves, although the subconscious mind may be exaggerating them in the dream. For instance, if you are feeling angry or happy during a dream, you are likely truly angry or happy about what's happening in the dream—and also about what it represents in real life.
The feelings of people other than yourself in your dream can represent feelings you're imagining, expecting, or fearing—especially when the person is someone you know in real life



"Cabin"
A house, apartment, flat, or any place of residence often represents you or your life, even if the dream residence does not resemble your actual residence. The events in the dream residence may represent events in your life. A house can also represent security, comfort, protection, familiarity, or belonging.
Also consider the mood and condition of the house (a dreary house might represent depression or sadness, a house with missing windows might represent personal boundary issues, etc.) and anything that particularly stands out about the house

For me, its taken awhile to try and relate this to what is happening in my life, but I really do think that I have figured it out. My friend Michelle needs to return to work in September as her Mat leave is up. I will be on mat leave myself and she was wanting me to watch her daughter (5 years) and her other daughter (will be 1 at the time) and to be honest, I am not sure how well I will do. I love being around kids, both of her kids are amazing and well behaved, just not sure how it will go with a 1 year old and my 4 month old. (my baby should be around 4 months when this takes place) I've agreed to at a min of 2 days a week, our two soon to be 5 year olds play amazing together and will both be in school (kindergarten) at least part of the day. We have talked about it numerous times, but I dont think that I have mentioned how nervous/worried/scared how this will all work out!

In a previous reading that Brooke777 and Cheri Mancuso have given me, both have seen me working with children in the near future. I at the time thought there was no way I could run a "daycare" with everything else on top of this, but perhaps this is the situation that they are referring to?

I believe that the interpretation of the cabin, in my dream is a "Safe" and secure/happy place could be an indication that things will work out okay and that I should not be worried/scared as I am right now. Its hard to plan for the unknown. Not sure if my baby will be colicky! Gosh, I dont know how you all do it with twins!! I am worried about a one year old and a 4 month old and how I will be able to balance everything!

If anyone else has any interpretations of their own they want to throw in, or tips/tricks on being able to do the 4month/1year old lol, I am all ears!

I do know that the "basis" of this dream does seem to be similar to that of "I am Legend" with Will Smith. We watched it the week before so I think that it had something to do with how "scary" this dream was. Remind me that I do not want to watch scary movies anymore!

Numerology....

I have always found numerology to be quite fascinating on how they can dissect the name you have been given and find out things about yourself that you will already be aware of, but perhaps not aware of how it ties in with the name you were given at birth.

I have located a site, that all you have to do is enter your first and last name and it tells you all about your name, your personality and things you might not have realized. I did this with my name and this is what it said

There are 11 letters in your name.Those 11 letters total to 58There are 4 vowels and 7 consonants in your name.

What your first name means:
French
Female
Variant of Cherie 'Dear one;darling'.

Your number is: 4
The characteristics of #4 are: A foundation, order, service, struggle against limits, steady growth.

The expression or destiny for #4:Order, service, and management are the cornerstones of the number 4 Expression. Your destiny is to express wonderful organization skills with your ever practical, down-to-earth approach. You are the kind of person who is always willing to work those long, hard hours to push a project through to completion. A patience with detail allows you to become expert in fields such as building, engineering, and all forms of craftsmanship. Your abilities to write and teach may lean toward the more technical and detailed. In the arts, music will likely be your choice. Artistic talents may also appear in such fields as horticulture and floral arrangement, as well. Many skilled physicians and especially surgeons have the 4 Expression.
The positive attitudes of the 4 Expression yield responsibility; you are one who no doubt, fulfills obligations, and is highly systematic and orderly. You are serious and sincere, honest and faithful. It is your role to help and you are required to do a good job at everything you undertake.

If there is too much 4 energies present in your makeup, you may express some of the negative attitudes of the number 4. The obligations that you face may tend to create frustration and feelings of limitation or restriction. You may sometimes find yourself nursing negative attitudes in this regard and these can keep you in a rather low mood. Avoid becoming too rigid, stubborn, dogmatic, and fixed in your opinions. You may have a tendency to develop and hold very strong likes and dislikes, and some of these may border on the classification of prejudice. The negative side of 4 often produces dominant and bossy individuals who use disciplinarian to an excess. These tendencies must be avoided. Finally, like nearly all with 4 Expression, you must keep your eye on the big picture and not get overly wrapped up in detail and routine.

Your Soul Urge number is: 11
A Soul Urge number of 11 means: With the 11 Soul Urge, much of your thinking and interests relate to the abstract, the spiritual, and Utopian dreams. You are motivated toward idealistic concepts, and the sharing of your ideas and concepts with humanity. This number is not one that is giving in a material or a practical sense, but rather one who desires to help mankind with a more abstract commodity such as religion, spiritualism, occult studies, or even psychic abilities.
If you possess the positive 11 Soul Urge traits, you have a dream of the perfect world; you are highly idealistic and inspirational. Your inner strength and devotion to your beliefs are extremely strong. You have a very good mind that is especially well equipped to handle the higher, more abstract forms of thought.

If there is an excess of 11 energy in your makeup, you may possess some the negative 11 traits. There is a tendency for the 11 to produce considerable amounts of nervous tension which is bought on by a very high level of awareness. You may be too sensitive and overly emotional. In some cases, these sensitivities and emotions are quite repressed, and this tends to add even more to the sense of nervousness in the makeup.
The strong 11 is not a very practical person because of the extreme idealism; often, there is a degree of self-deception present. There is usually a rather fixed idea of right and wrong held by those showing strong 11 traits, and with this very often is a resulting attitude of inflexibility.

Your Inner Dream number is: 11
An Inner Dream number of 11 means: You dream of casting the light of illumination; of being the true idealist. You secretly believe there is more to life than we can know or prove, and you would like to be provider of the 'word' from on high.

If you would like to see how your name relates to your personality traits visit http://www.paulsadowski.com/Numbers.asp type in your first and last name, and then click on submit! No registering, its free and fun!

So who ordered the snow?

as most of you know, I live here on the west coast of Canada, in a province called British Columbia. I am unsure though, if you are aware that we are known for how much rain we get here. We are located near some natural rain forests, and are known for the amount of rain we see each year. Alot of people who come to visit or live are always amazed at first with just how much. But I can say, that unlike some other provinces with warmer/hotter weather, our grass does stay greener! lol (this is a joke by the way and not meant to offend anyone else in any other province/location)

Woke up this morning, got ready to head to work, got my daughter dressed in pants and long shirt because it was raining. She insisted on bringing her umbrella (this has to be a "must have' accessory for any almost 5 year old girl) and we head outside. As I get to the car, I started to get really wet and hat to put the hood of my jacket on! I thought I was caught in a down pour and quickly jumped into the car, after making sure my daughter was in at first. Turn car on, and start driving. Notice the snow/sleet on the windshield and point it out to my daughter who is excited to see it (like any kid, LOVES the snow!)

I am shocked. Here, its mostly rain, clouds or sun, but at this time of year is more rare for snow! Not to mention all of our flowers are starting to come up, people have been outside cutting their lawns... strange!

As most know, I am always looking for stories of inspiration. Ones that will provide insight or hope to situations/events and people alike. It can be about trying to conceive, lessons you have learned in life and how its shaped you into the person you are today, as well as encounters you might have experienced with loved ones who have passed over. As usual, if posted here on the blog, will trade you for a FREE prediction bypass reading (value 8.00 Canadian) and you can remain "anon" as well if that is your preference. Just email cheri22@gmail.com with "inspiration" or "storey" in your subject line and I will be sure to locate it.

To end this blog for today, here are some fun facts about the area I live in. This city is listed as Vancouver, I am not "in" Vancouver, but its considered the Vancouver area, or Lower Mainland:)

Vancouver
Province: British Columbia
Country: Canada
Vancouver By The Numbers:Population: 545,671; 1,986,695 metro area
Average Annual Rainfall: 44 inches/112 centimeters
Average Annual Snowfall: 22 inches/56 centimeters
Average January Temperature: 37 degrees F/3 degrees C
Average July Temperature: 63 degrees F/17 degrees C
Quick Facts Major Industries: Tourism, Forestry, Retail, Financial
Services Electricity: 110 volts, 60 Hz; standard flat two-pin prongs
Time Zone: GMT 7, GMT 8 between April and October
Country Dialing Code: 1
Area Code: 604
Did You Know? The World Council of Cities ranked Vancouver second in the world for quality of life, and 'Outside' magazine voted it one of the ten best cities in the world to live in.
Orientation: Vancouver glows on the southeastern edge of British Columbia on Canada's west coast.
The Coast Mountains frontier its northern and eastern margins, while Vancouver Island buoys to the west across the Strait of Georgia. The United States border is just 25 miles/40 kilometers to the south.

Happy Easter!

For those of you who celebrate the easter in season in more ways than one, wanted to wish you all a happy easter. Here, when younger, it was more of a family gathering, we got together for a family dinner, did the easter egg hunts..etc.. as I have gotten older, its unfortunately just gone by as another day.

My daughter is almost 5, so for the last 4 easters, its been about her, and carrying on the tradition of the easter bunny. My mom took my daughter today for the day, had a little hunt at her house, tomorrow we are stopping off at my inlaws, and shes doing a hunt for her there, and then on Sunday the easter bunny stops by here to do the same. Gets kinda crazy, not to mention they had one at her daycare too on Wednesday! Thats going to be FOUR Easter egg hunts! Sounds a bit much, but what can you do, shes having fun!

Other than that, this weekend will be about cleaning, organizing, and more cleaning. Seems that being almost 31 weeks that I have gotten bit by the nesting bug and can't seem to not do something!

For those of you wondering about the crib update, my mom and her husband surprised us with a new crib from walmart! They actually drove the one hour drive to our house to surprise us, but ended up having to call my husband to help as the crib would not fit into their car. It was really nice of them to do that!. With the old crappy crib, we plan on dropping it off at value village or something (not 100% sure) as they might be able to fix/clean it.

In regards to yesterdays post about the blog contest for Brooke777 tarot reading, tanylisa is the winner! please contact brooke7777@gmail.com for your free two questions tarot reading. Make sure to include in the subject line that your the winner from my blog:)

Best wishes!

Remember my pansies?

For those of you who have been reading the blog for awhile. will remember my post about the pansies that have been growing wild in my yard. They are going in the lava rocks and were not there when we first bought our house, but seem to have come the following spring and spreading out everywhere. This flower has followed me since I was young, its not something that you just buy in the store (or you couldn't before) and certainly would never think of planting it where it seems to pop up. When growing up as a young girl, this flower would always grow in the grass right in our front lawn. This would drive my father crazy and would always try and pull it out, or mow it over. Not because he didn't like the flower, but because he did not like where it was growing! When I moved out of the house to a new place with my mother and sister (parents separated when I was 18) that year, they started growing under the holly bush, to which the landlord wondered why in heck we would plant something there, to which we had not! This has happened in EVERY single location I have lived in for my whole life. This flower, same size, same color, always grows where its not supposed to. Almost like its saying "look at me".

Now, the significance for this flower to me, is another storey. My grandmother from my dad's side passed away when he was 16 years old, so I never met her. It turns out after talking to my dad, that this flower was by far her most favorite. So yes, I do feel that this flower by following me around (and it only happens to me in the family) is her way of saying hello, and letting me know that shes there, watching out for us.

So last year, when it sprouted in the lava rocks and went completely crazy, I just knew it was her. This by far has been the most I have ever seen them, and kept spreading and going like crazy and almost halfway down our drive way. The picture below is one taken last summer. This is only part of it, and just kept going like crazy

So, this year, after looking over the garden as I want to make some changes before baby comes, I see them coming again. The flowers have not yet come out, but the telltale sign of the leaves is enough for me to know that they are on their way. In our backyard, there are tulips growing, that I was worried would not come up this year. I had cut them down last year when they had all died, and perhaps cut a bit too short according to my dad's wife. So was a bit nervous thinking that they had all disappeared. My daughter and I had walked around back to check them out, see if any had come up. Thankfully they all seem to be returning, some of them have the flowers coming out but not blossomed yet.. and guess what else we found while in the back?

Yep, you guessed it MORE PANSIES! This time they are growing where the grass is, in the woodchips and in other spots in the same area. Mostly the same purple flower that I love dearly, and now these cute little yellow ones that have just come up.

I love this flower so much, that when I was 18, I had it tattooed on my lower right hip, but closer to the front. Same purple, same shape.

So, with this being said, today is the day to win a free reading with BROOKE777. Its a 2 question tarot card reading, and is available to be won. All I need to be able to enter you into your draw is to either comment on my own storey listed here, or provide your own. Something that really touches your heart that has either happened to you before, or still happening, that you recognize as a sign from a loved one. Thats it. Contest will end tomorrow morning when I log in, and will announce the winner. From the people entered into the draw, one winner will be drawn from a hat and will be announced on this blog!

good luck!

Things have a way of working out as they should.

I just wanted to share this storey from a client of mine. Its inspiring and hopeful and really does show you how things tend to happen as they should.. or better said "everything happens for a reason". Hope you enjoy her storey just as much as I did

Cheri
Just wanted to tell you a funny story. You predicted Feb/Boy for me. Well, I got my period Feb 15th so with a 31 day cycle, that put me out of the game since I was supposed to ovulate on March 5th. I was on vacation the week of Feb 23rd and on the drive back, started getting my usual O pains. I thought it was very, very weird since that would mean I ovulated five days early!!!!!!!!!!!!! As we are heading to our hotel for the evening, the thought struck me as to the date. It was Feb 29th. I had O'd five days early!!!!!!!!
30 mins ago, I got my BFP! So you were completely correct! I did indeed conceive in Feb.
Can't thank you enough.
Audrey

Karma - What goes around comes around?

Do you believe in Karma? I do. Or at least the idea of it. I really believe that when you go out of your way to try and help people, do positive things, that in turn, positive and good things will happen to you.

Now if your grumpy or angry and yell and such, I do not think that means that this in turn will happen to you, but if you do something out of spite, revenge or on purpose to try and hurt someone else, I believe that "karma" will have way of "evening" up the odds in regards to something that might happen to you. Not necessarily in the same fashion, but perhaps something that you were trying so hard to have completed will fall through.

In Buddhist teaching, the law of karma, says only this: `for every event that occurs, there will follow another event whose existence was caused by the first, and this second event will be pleasant or unpleasant according as its cause was skillful or unskillful.' A skillful event is one that is not accompanied by craving, resistance or delusions; an unskillful event is one that is accompanied by any one of those things. (Events are not skillful in themselves, but are so called only in virtue of the mental events that occur with them.)

Therefore, the law of Karma teaches that responsibility for unskillful actions is born by the person who commits them.

"As you sow so shall you reap" This is the Law of Karma. Interestingly, both science and religion recognize this law. In science it is often stated, “For every action there is an equal and opposing reaction.” Its religious counterparts are, “An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth”; and “As you do unto others, it will be done unto you.” Even today’s common knowledge expresses this principle in the saying, “What goes around, comes around.” This is the law of karma, of cause and effect.

What are your thoughts?

So mad I could spit fire!

Lets start from the beginning. I have an almost 5 year old daughter, when shes was a bit older and starting to outgrow her stuff, my cousin got pregnant. I passed on my stuff to her with the knowledge that it would be returned to me in similar condition. My daughter and her son are 1 year (EXACTLY) apart.

I gave her my maternity pants (2 pairs) my maternity pillow for breastfeeding, my bassinet for the baby to sleep in, and my long sleeping pillow while pregnant to alleviate some of the discomfort while sleeping.

She finished her pregnancy and apologized that she wrecked my maternity pants. Then proceeded to "replace' them with a different pair in a smaller size (that I could not wear even when not pg!)

I continuously asked for the last 3 years for my bassinet back (as her youngest is now 2) and she gave me excuse after excuse. Being the nice person that I am, I took her word for it. First time was put in storage with her moms stuff and could not access, then it was in her moms back bedroom buried..etc. So when pregnant with baby number 2 myself right now I asked again for it back. This time she burst into tears and finally admitted to me, that it was ruined, and had somehow gotten battery acid on it, and shes been looking ever since so she could replace it.

Dont know where my body pillow is or was, or even my breastfeeding pillow.. I have learned my lesson with this cousin, and have not lent her anything now in regards to NOTHING. I dont get it back, or when I do, its wrecked.

So, after she apologized again, she offered me her daughters crib (who is now in a toddler bed) As my sister is currently using the one i had for my daughter, I accepted the offer and considered us "even", and left it at that.

Well, my sister and her husband picked up the crib and just brought it out to me today. I am so disappointed its not even funny, and then kicking myself cause honestly what did I expect? The crib is trashed, gouges everywhere, it smells like smoke (my dh and I both are NON smokers) and there is white stuff all over it. I would literally have to scrub this thing from top to bottom, possibly not get the smell out, and to top if all off, there are no screws for the crib! So I can't even put it together.

Now I know "beggars can't be choosers" and it could have come in worse shape, and there are I am sure people with alot worse cribs that had no choice but to use it. But I would rather not use it. I dont want my baby to sleep in a smoke smelling crib, that will be soaked in chemicals just in the hopes of cleaning it, not to mention having to mickey mouse it with screws that dont even go for the bed. This could be just my pregnancy hormones kicking in, and its more than likely not a big deal, but after factoring everything that has happened with all of my stuff, to get something in this shape was kinda insulting. She could have at least cleaned it!

Sorry to vent, just need to get it out. I think I am just going to head over to sears or walmart and just buy a crib thats hopefully not expensive. I also just talked to my dh on the phone letting him know how upset I was, and he too feels the same way. He says its a piece of you know what!

and the winner is... (drum roll please)

NEILA!

You need to contact me at cheri22@gmail.com and put in "blog contest winner" in the subject line so that I can schedule you for your family bypass reading!

Thank you everyone who posted and emailed with your ideas and suggestions, I really feel that my mother in law is quite capable of doing most of the things suggested and will be researching alot of these options so that she has the information and can stop making excuses and actually do some of these things.

Perhaps this is exactly what was needed to get her not to feel so lonely and less relying on us as her only source of entertainment!

A touching storey

Someone named Christina submitted her storey of her adventure in regards to conceiving and giving her child up for adoption and where it has brought her today because of this lesson she learned in her life. Perhaps other people can relate to her storey, or have similar of their own. Very touching.

Ok, here's my story.My name is Christina and when I was 19 I got pregnant and placed my son for adoption. I was 18 when I met his father. I had not had a boyfriend since middle school and I thought that I wasn't very lovable. Well, one Sunday in church, a guy walked in the door that I had never seen before. I thought he was cute and we flirted a little bit. It was the first time in a long time that someone had shown an interest in me. The guy (Eric- not his real name)was Guatemalan and turned out to be living with a family from our church. The family was sponsoring his citizenship here. At that time, I thought he was a really nice guy but later I found out different.

We went out with my friends after church that Sunday and he asked me to take him home. I was thrilled. When I took him home, we sat outside his house talking for quite a while. Before he left, he asked to see me the next day. Of course, I said yes. When he got out of the car, he gave me a quick kiss and I was ecstatic. I went home that night and told my mom about him, how he kissed me and that we were planning to get together on Monday.

On Monday, Eric and I hooked up and went to the beach. We walked around the beach for a while. He held my hand and was basically very romantic. At the beach I got my first real kiss.
That night when it was time to take him home, he said he wanted to go "park and talk." I was naive enough to think that he really meant talk. When we got to his housing complex parking lot, I was ready to talk. Eric had other ideas. He started kissing me and caressing me, which up to a point was nice. What wasn't so nice was when I asked him to stop and he didn't. He raped me in my car, in the parking lot outside the house he was staying. I was a virgin. When he was done, he made me come into the house and say hello to the people. All I kept thinking that night talking to them was "I am not a virgin anymore, I can't believe he did that to me."

When I finally got the courage to tell him that he had raped me, he said that I couldn't prove it and there was nothing I could do about it. I believed him unfortunately.

I stayed with him for 4months, because I was so desperate for male attention that any attention was better than none at all.

In April 2000, I turned 19. I found out I was pregnant on Mother's day. When I told Eric that I was pregnant, he almost beat me up because I refused to have an abortion. He left me shortly after I told him I was pregnant.My family was awesome when I told them I was pregnant. My parents told me how much they loved me and that they supported any decision I made. I told them that I was thinking about placing the baby for adoption because I was not financially able to care for him at that time.

When I was about 4 months pregnant I met with a christian adoption lawyer and found a wonderful couple that wanted to adopt a baby. They had every requirement that I wanted in parents....... I wanted music in the home, well the father plays 3 instruments. I would have wanted to stay home with the baby, well the mother quit work a couple months before I gave birth. They were with me at the delivery and I personally presented my son to them. The last thing I said to the adoptive father before I left the hospital was "You take care of that little boy." It was the hardest thing I have ever done but the best thing I have ever done.

They were and still are the perfect parents for my son. We have a completely open adoption. I can call them whenever I want. I was with them for my son's 1st birthday. We have shared birthdays, baptisms, christmas'. I have been a part of my son's life that I never expected could be possible. I have no regrets about placing him for adoption.

My son is 17 years old now. I am 36 and I just recently got married to a wonderful man, John. We are trying to get pregnant and some days I just don't know if my age is going to prevent me from having any more children.

As a result of my situation, I have been blessed in so many ways. I have been taught what unconditional love is through family and friends. I do have a stronger relationship with my parents, a deeper appreciation for them, if you will, because of what we went through together. The greatest thing my parents ever said to me was "In times like this, a family does not run from you, they run to you and we are here for you and love you."

I was able to go to college out of state which I might not have been able to do if I had not chosen adoption. I feel I gave my son the best life I could. Another way I am blessed is that I get to share in my son's life in a way I might not have been able to if I had made a different choice.
After college, I went around to different high schools and church youth groups telling my story and trying to let the kids know that they aren't unlovable if they don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend and trying shed a positive light on adoption. I have talked with couples who are not married and found themselves in the same situation. I have talked with couples who are trying to decide if adoption is right for them. I always tell people that I know that my choices are not necessarily right for everyone but if I can help them see another alternative ending to their situation then I think I did my job.

I am stronger and more sensitive to people because of what I went through. I feel that I am more focused today that I might have been had I not gone through with my pregnancy and the adoption.

I know things happen for a reason and if sharing my story helps just one person then it was worth going through.
Christina

Just because I can...

I am having a cheerful day today which is good because MIL showed up yesterday un-announced. (yes again!)My husband was taking my daughter with him to the river for a visit with some other friends that were going to be there, they planned on being gone an hour to an hour and a half. Just as they got their shoes on and jackets, hand ready to open the door, who comes knocking on the door? Yep. my mother in law.

My husband explains that him and my daughter and just rushing out the door, in the hopes that she might just turn around and go home knowing that they are leaving.. but nope, she heads up stairs and stays to chat with me for over an hour before leaving. I try to be polite, as I do like my mother in law for the most part, but just get annoyed at times. I was though looking forward to having an hour of me time, but hey what can you do.

Turns out, my mother in law admitted to being lonely. Its just her and her husband that moved to BC in August (2007) and yet to have really made friends their own age, which I guess in turn is why they rely on my husband and his sister (and me and my daughter) so much for something to do. I must have given her 101 solutions on things she should try to make new friends, but with her husband being 65, has no interest in being social at this point, with stating that there is no point in making new friends as they will just die anyways. (I know, horrible attitude to have!) I explained that it should not stop my mother in law from trying new things, perhaps volunteering..etc she had an excuse for pretty much anything I said. (except one, which I believe shes looking into today as well.)

I dont want my mother in law to field alienated, but like her dh, I do like having some peace and quiet and not a "Social butterfly". I dont have to be around people all the time besides my husband and daughter of course!lol. I need the space!lol.

So with feeling a bit sorry for my mother in law and her situation, and yet still having a good "cheerful day" I am offering one person the chance for a family bypass reading. This is a 25.00 value and will cover ANY aspect of life. All you have to do, is come up with a few suggestions that might help my mother in law socialize with other people (besides just her son and daughter! lol) Whether she actually follows up on the suggestion or not, is up to her, but all you have to do is suggest a few things. Everyone who posts a reply (either to the comments section or through cheri22@gmail.com) will be entered to win. I will leave this "contest" open until Friday at midnight (Pacific standard time) and will then draw a name from the people who supplied ideas, and announce the winner!

I think that its just going to be one of those days....

Today I just feel kinda emotional. I dont really have anything to be emotional about, usually a very positive person, but today just seem to be affected by things on a deeper level. Perhaps I am tired, it was definitely hard to get up this morning with losing that one hour of sleep. We had to do the time change on Saturday night, which I had forgotten about until Sunday morning, so lost an hours of sleep, even though I had tried to goto bed an hour earlier.

My daughter too found it hard to get out of bed this morning, but I guess being younger certainly helps you keep up the energy levels alot easier than being 31!

This weekend was okay, yesterday my "lovely" mother in law called AGAIN (did I mention she calls pretty much every day?) and asked my husband what he was doing yet again. Almost like she has to keep a daily tally on where he is and what he is doing and with whom. Then proceeds to ask what myself and my daughter were doing. At this point, my husband had just woken up and had not asked me of our plans for the morning. So she said if we were not doing anything to give her a call and she would come over. So, would anyone like to take a guess as to if I called her back or not? Yesterday I managed to get the rest of the baby clothes washed and folded, now sitting in the baby room to be put into the dresser. Even though I am not due until May 28th, I have still managed to get into a bit of a nesting habit. Keeping the house extra clean, getting babies room ready. I just need to get the crib off my sister and buy a mattress and I can set the rest of the room up!

From when my daughter was born until now, I have kept EVERY piece of clothing she has ever owned and stored it. Based on u/s saying this baby too is a girl, I started on Thursday going through all the bins/boxes and taking out what I wanted to keep, and putting the rest all in a pile. This left me 5 GARBAGE BAGS FULL of clothes from newborn to size 4 that I will not be using for this baby, and still leaving me plenty of clothes for the baby that is coming. Can anyone else tell that I went overboard? Wondering how many others have done the same thing, or will more than likely when their firsts arrive.

As for emotional, could be over tired, could be pregnancy hormones, or both, just feel like I could cry at the drop of a hat, feel bad for my sister, who is trying to run her own cleaning business, and my Aunt is always complaining, trying to make things more difficult, and yet my sister puts up with it. Would love it if MIL does not call today. My husband now works out of a different shop (used to work from our garage) so she can't just pop over at our house anymore!! (YEA!!!) and can't just call our house, she would have to call his cell phone, which means I dont even have to know that she called! Did I mention I get annoyed just seeing her number on the call display? Thats how badly this woman affects me.

She came over on Thursday to help me go through baby stuff and arrange things (which was nice of course) but she looked at me, and asked me if I was bigger now (at 29 weeks) Than when I was about to give birth to my daughter, as she said I look it :(. I explained that I had only gained 22lbs so far with this pregnancy, and was 35lbs when I gave birth to my daughter. I would love it if this woman just kept her opinions to herself. She doesn't seem to think about how it affects other people. I always agree that to each their own, and its just an opinion, but when your opinion is always negative, and not going to benefit the other person at all, then why say it?

Updated pregnancy picture to follow

Do you believe in "GOD"?

I am not trying to get anyone to believe or not to believe. I really do believe that there is no "wrong" answer to this question. Either you do or your don't, and some believe in one particular god while others believe in another. Again, I do not believe that there is a wrong answer in regards to this question I believe that life has its ways of either bringing god into your life or temporarily out of it.

I do not consider myself to be religious, but do consider myself to be spiritual. I do believe that there is a "god" on the other side, but I feel that his role in our lives is that of a "president" or perhaps a "prime minister" or "king" depending on where you live. I believe he is responsible for the well being of everyone, trying to oversee life as we know it, but not one to interfere. He wants us to learn, he wants us to do things for ourselves, and have his guidance and strength. I believe this is why people at times feel "failed" when they ask for "his" help and do not receive it. I believe in this fashion, most times his hands are "tied". Hes always looking out for everyone the best way he can.

Now when it comes to asking for help, other than only relying on the people in our lives (loved ones, friends, co workers..etc) We can also ask for help in regards to our spirit guides. They often will try and help us choose the right path in life if we are feeling lost. At times appearing in dreams, bringing new people into your life that will help you with your current lesson/direction or sending you "signs" if your paying attention. Other people that can help are loved ones who have passed over, and again try to find ways to show you that they are listening and will try and help straighten out the situation as well.

I also believe that you may ask for help from "Mother Azna". Shes often refered to as "mother god" perhaps the wife/partner of God himself? Shes one that has no problems with getting directly involved in our lives if we really need her help. I often find that when I am feeling very vulnerable in life in regards to a certain situation it is her that I am asking for "protection". For example, in the last two weeks i have come EXTREMELY close to getting into a car accident. Before the previous weekend alone was 2 times while I was driving that it was EXTREMELY close to being hit. I dont believe that these would have been considered my fault, but with having my daughter in the car I certainly dont care who's fault it would be, I dont want to get into an accident! In any of my previous accidents (yes during my life I have been in a few accidents - not all my fault) I have usually been given a 3 day warning of when it would happen, and then it does. So when these two close calls happen, I was getting worried. I asked for mother azna to please provide her protection and help keep us safe. It was the very same reason why on our trip to Oregon the previous weekend that I asked my husband to drive (the 6 hours there and back) And during this time, there was another 2 times that there was an "almost" accident even with my husband driving. I would consider these close calls.

Yesterday while driving to meet up with my family for dinner about a 30 min drive, as I exited the freeway, I was turning right to go over the overpass... if I had continued on, this semi truck that was barreling through the light would have completely rammed me on the left side (driver side) probably seriously injuring myself and my daughter, or worse. It was a split second thing and I truly believe that I have someone looking out for me in regards to this.

Mother Azna will help anyone who is requesting help. Shes not too picky about who she will help, and if its a situation that she can do then she will. So if your asking her for the lottery numbers, I think your out of luck! I believe if you feel you are in trouble, or need help with something that has got you down, this is when she will try to lend you a helping hand. I know for me, when I ask for her help (letting her know what I want her to do - like protecting my daughter and myself in our car during our drive) then she will help in that way in what she can) So if your asking for help in getting a new car, chances are you should ask your guides for help.

I also find that when I am feeling negative, or down in regards to any situation, before I let it the get the best of me and make my day feel horrible, I will often close my eyes, palms facing up and see a white light coming down and going into my hands, feeling more refreshed and happy again and know that I can deal with the situation at hand. Its a very good calming feature that I use, and doesn't take alot of time at all.

I basically am not trying to get anyone to change faith with my blog today, its just about letting you know that there is more than one person out there looking out for you, and depending on how your feeling or thinking, that there is someone always on your side willing to help you out, regardless of what faith you practice of dont practice. I know that God, like mother Azna goes by many names, and will answer to anything:)

If you have any questions or comments, feel free to either email me at cheri22@gmail.com with "azna" in the subject line or post a comment in this post

I need "help"! lol

For the past week or just a bit less, I have been getting alot of emails from "maelor' deamons. I am not sure if I spelled that right, but basically an email telling me that my emails are not going through and being returned to sender! First of all, the emails that are being bounced back are NOT sent from me, and are more spam than anything. So I have no idea how someone is able to use my cheri22@gmail.com email address and attach it to their email to make it "appear' That I am sending this out when I am not. I have verified in my gmail through multiple of the emails that I am NOT sending it so confident that I do not have a virus and that someone does not have access to my account. I do not send out spam at all, nor have anything to do with the product or service that they are trying to advertise (I think it has something to do with an online university! lol.) Each time an email comes in as undeliverable, I have to mark it was "spam" so that it notifies gmail, but honestly, seems like ALOT of emails (7-10 everytime I check) are being labeled this way so no idea how many are being sent.

So, how do I go about putting a stop to this? Is there any way to contact gmail and let them know what is happening? Can I up security of any kind to put a stop to this? Its more annoying than anything and would hate to think that any of my clients are receiving spam labeled from me when it in fact is NOT!

I am still looking for stories of inspiration, stories of encounters...etc. Positive stories, to add to Wednesdays posts. As previously mentioned I do trade a prediction bypass (8.00 value) for your storey if posted. You can post as "anon" if you wish so when I post your storey I can leave out your name if it makes it easier:) If interested, email cheri22@gmail.com with "storey" in the subject line for me to locate it easier.

Is there something "wrong" with the blog?

I have seen in previous weeks barely any comments on the blog at all, and starting to get worried that its not allowing people to post and that I need to change a setting? In regards to the blog contests or even my ask Jeni, usually there are a few responses, or with update posts there are comments and for the last few weeks there has been 0. So not sure if people just dont have anything to ask/add/answer or if people are having a problem with posting comments into the comment section? If anyone can provide me some feedback as to their experience if they are having problems..etc. I would greatly appreciate it. Feel free to email cheri22@gmail.com with "feedback" listed in the email so I can locate it easier.

I have recently been trying to look up books online about how to deal with invasive Mother in laws. I find that lately by avoiding my mother in law as much as possible that its been "better" but finding myself putting more effort into avoiding her than it was to just see her and deal with it! lol. Shes calling pretty much everyday, seems to still show up constantly and often gives me her "opinion" and or "advice" that really does not makes sense, is a total lie, or just completely misleading. I would rather not have to deal with her and half the time wish she would just move back to Ontario! (5 hour plane ride!) I dont want to be this way, as being "negative' and avoiding her is certainly not easy, and not good either for anyone involved. I have tried talking to her, but it always goes in one ear and out the other as if what i said does not matter.

Once she called, and was talking to me, asked me what my husband was doing, then asked to talk to him, and the second he got on the phone, asked him what he was doing...as if what I had just said was a lie. I am so worried I am going to "warp" my daughters view of her grandmother with the way I react, and I do not want to do that.

I at times have gone out of my way to try and include her in our lives, more or less on my own terms. I find it easier to deal with her when I am "prepared" for her visit. I invited her shopping with my daughter and I and out for lunch. As we are shopping for a baby car seat, she says "so are you going to bother breastfeeding this time, or are you just going to go straight to the bottle". For most people, this might seem like an innocent question, but it often gets me under the skin. When pregnant with my first, she INSISTED on buying me some formula even after I told her I was planning on breastfeeding and did not want it, she kept telling me that most women can not breastfeed and that I needed formula. So it seems already shes being unsupported in the fact that I want to try again and do it better this time, being more prepared with breastfeeding. My last attempt with my daughter had me breastfeeding her until she was 2.5 months old and then I pumped for 1.5 months. I was not informed with breastfeeding, started pumping and bottle feeding because I was constantly second guessing myself and the amount she was getting, and let my mother in laws comments get to me. This time, I will try again and do what I can to provide for this baby and NOT let my mother in law bother me.

Shes got an answer for everything, and its not accurate. I told her of a place near our house called "falcon ridge" there are ALOT of falcons and eagles around lately (I love to watch them fly) and I said how we had a falcon in our backyard a week ago, and how many eagles that were around. This led her to try and "top" that by stating that she saw at least 6 eagles flying around the zellers mall when the fruit stand opened. I dont think she realized that eagles do not eat fruit. That they are mostly meat eaters and certainly would not be circling a grocery store for the fruit! lol. I said nothing.

Well, I have come to the conclusion, that yes, my husband is "enabling" my mother in law to meddle in our lives and drive us all crazy, but all I can do is stand my ground and find ways to "accept" who she is, and just deal with it. Hoping that some of the self help books on dealing with crazy mother in laws might help shed some light on the way she behaves and why, and give me better tools to deal with her personality and not be so affected by her craziness!

a little late... but ASK JENI

I was meaning to post this on Friday as it was the last friday of the month, but our family ended up going on a family vacation from Friday till today (got home around 4pm) so posting tonight!

As most of you will remember, my friend Jeni is very knowledgeable about women and fertility and is willing to answer some questions for some people. Please note, she is NOT a fertility expert and does not have any degrees in this field, just extremely knowledgeable about this subject and willing to help answer questions, point people in the right direction and offer her advice/opinion.

She will answer up to three peoples questions. So if your interested in having your question answered, please respond in the comments section with your question. If its too personal, just leave your email address that you can be contacted at. If your one of the top three people to respond you will receive an email to find out your question and it can be done that way.

As for an update for me, I am now 28 weeks as of today. I had my dr appt on Thursday before we left, and found out I had a bladder infection, so taking some anti-biotics for that. Spent a nice weekend away with just my husband and my daughter about a 6 hour drive from where we live. Was right by the ocean. My daughter kept referring to it as our "home" and didn't really want to leave.

Tomorrow is open blog night, so was wondering if anyone had any specific questions they were hoping to get covered, or even an area that they would like to know more about?