A touching storey

Someone named Christina submitted her storey of her adventure in regards to conceiving and giving her child up for adoption and where it has brought her today because of this lesson she learned in her life. Perhaps other people can relate to her storey, or have similar of their own. Very touching.

Ok, here's my story.My name is Christina and when I was 19 I got pregnant and placed my son for adoption. I was 18 when I met his father. I had not had a boyfriend since middle school and I thought that I wasn't very lovable. Well, one Sunday in church, a guy walked in the door that I had never seen before. I thought he was cute and we flirted a little bit. It was the first time in a long time that someone had shown an interest in me. The guy (Eric- not his real name)was Guatemalan and turned out to be living with a family from our church. The family was sponsoring his citizenship here. At that time, I thought he was a really nice guy but later I found out different.

We went out with my friends after church that Sunday and he asked me to take him home. I was thrilled. When I took him home, we sat outside his house talking for quite a while. Before he left, he asked to see me the next day. Of course, I said yes. When he got out of the car, he gave me a quick kiss and I was ecstatic. I went home that night and told my mom about him, how he kissed me and that we were planning to get together on Monday.

On Monday, Eric and I hooked up and went to the beach. We walked around the beach for a while. He held my hand and was basically very romantic. At the beach I got my first real kiss.
That night when it was time to take him home, he said he wanted to go "park and talk." I was naive enough to think that he really meant talk. When we got to his housing complex parking lot, I was ready to talk. Eric had other ideas. He started kissing me and caressing me, which up to a point was nice. What wasn't so nice was when I asked him to stop and he didn't. He raped me in my car, in the parking lot outside the house he was staying. I was a virgin. When he was done, he made me come into the house and say hello to the people. All I kept thinking that night talking to them was "I am not a virgin anymore, I can't believe he did that to me."

When I finally got the courage to tell him that he had raped me, he said that I couldn't prove it and there was nothing I could do about it. I believed him unfortunately.

I stayed with him for 4months, because I was so desperate for male attention that any attention was better than none at all.

In April 2000, I turned 19. I found out I was pregnant on Mother's day. When I told Eric that I was pregnant, he almost beat me up because I refused to have an abortion. He left me shortly after I told him I was pregnant.My family was awesome when I told them I was pregnant. My parents told me how much they loved me and that they supported any decision I made. I told them that I was thinking about placing the baby for adoption because I was not financially able to care for him at that time.

When I was about 4 months pregnant I met with a christian adoption lawyer and found a wonderful couple that wanted to adopt a baby. They had every requirement that I wanted in parents....... I wanted music in the home, well the father plays 3 instruments. I would have wanted to stay home with the baby, well the mother quit work a couple months before I gave birth. They were with me at the delivery and I personally presented my son to them. The last thing I said to the adoptive father before I left the hospital was "You take care of that little boy." It was the hardest thing I have ever done but the best thing I have ever done.

They were and still are the perfect parents for my son. We have a completely open adoption. I can call them whenever I want. I was with them for my son's 1st birthday. We have shared birthdays, baptisms, christmas'. I have been a part of my son's life that I never expected could be possible. I have no regrets about placing him for adoption.

My son is 17 years old now. I am 36 and I just recently got married to a wonderful man, John. We are trying to get pregnant and some days I just don't know if my age is going to prevent me from having any more children.

As a result of my situation, I have been blessed in so many ways. I have been taught what unconditional love is through family and friends. I do have a stronger relationship with my parents, a deeper appreciation for them, if you will, because of what we went through together. The greatest thing my parents ever said to me was "In times like this, a family does not run from you, they run to you and we are here for you and love you."

I was able to go to college out of state which I might not have been able to do if I had not chosen adoption. I feel I gave my son the best life I could. Another way I am blessed is that I get to share in my son's life in a way I might not have been able to if I had made a different choice.
After college, I went around to different high schools and church youth groups telling my story and trying to let the kids know that they aren't unlovable if they don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend and trying shed a positive light on adoption. I have talked with couples who are not married and found themselves in the same situation. I have talked with couples who are trying to decide if adoption is right for them. I always tell people that I know that my choices are not necessarily right for everyone but if I can help them see another alternative ending to their situation then I think I did my job.

I am stronger and more sensitive to people because of what I went through. I feel that I am more focused today that I might have been had I not gone through with my pregnancy and the adoption.

I know things happen for a reason and if sharing my story helps just one person then it was worth going through.
Christina