well I tried to do a blog contest yesterday for a family bypass and thought it would be easy and fun, but it looks like perhaps it wasn't lol.. So I am going to change it up a bit and make it a bit easier. To win this family bypass portion, I someone to share a "lesson" they learned. I want a storey behind it and how it happened and how you came to learn that it was a "lesson" in your life.
for example. In my life, I have had a few boyfriends (not all at once!) when I was younger, and EVERYONE of them cheated on me with someone else. I was devasted and first thought that it was something tht I was doing, that would cause this to happen over and over again. When I realized that this was a lesson that I had to learn, I told myself that i would not "allow' This to happen to me again. That I would learn from it, and that I realized that I did not have to put up with this and that I did not deserve to be treated, nor did I have to "allow' This to happen to me. When I met my now husband I told him when we first met and started dating that if he EVER cheated on me, that regardless of where we were in our relationship that it would be OVER. No ifs, ands or buts and not second chances. I knew that I had learned that lesson. Before I was too nice, and Naieve and let people walk all over me. He agreed and understood and said that the same goes for him. We have been together now for almost 11 years and married for 6.
life is full of lessons, we need to learn these lessons in order for us to start on the next one. if you have not learned it, then it will continue to repeat itself until you get the hang of it. Ever sit there and wonder "why me" , and that the same type of "theme" seems to happen all of the time?Over and over like a broken record? Whether its a person you meet and become great friends with, just to have them move, or perhaps you seem to be able to pay off all your debts just to find yourself in debt once again from things that were not controlable. There are many factors in life, but the lessons are the ones that repeat over and over and over, until we finally stand up and say "okay, I get it!". once you have learned the lesson, its done.. it wont happen again, and you will move onto something else you need to learn in this life.
So, if there is something that you find in your life that repeats itself write it down, and see where the pattern is.. see where the lesson is. When you figure it out, you can move on from it!
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4 comments:
Hey Cheri,
I don't know if this counts, but I'll share my story. Mine is about my father. Even though he and my parents are divorced, he is a great father and has been there.
He is the stubborn/strict type, who always says what's on his mind, whether it's right, wrong, or mean. Or sometimes he would get in foul moods for no reason. being the people pleaser that I am, I would always find myself apologizing to him, even if I didn't do anything wrong.
To make a long story short, on Father's Day he found out through my Mom that me and my boyfriend (of 6 years) are planning on moving in together, and he acted a complete mess in public. Normally, I would've called him the next day, and apologized or something, and things would've gone back to normal. But I realized that it was a cycle, and as long as I allowed him to treat me (and my boyfriend) like that, then he was going to keep on doing it.
So far, it's been two months, and he has yet to apologize. If he doesn't call, maybe I eventually will, but I WILL NOT apologize for something I didn't do wrong. I will finally stand up for myself and not allow him to treat me like that anymore. So maybe we both will learn a lesson from it, but I know I will not continue to let it happen.
Hi andrea, yes your storey does count! your lesson has been learned, and this should not apply to just your relationship with your dad, but applies to your life all over. I think that you also "allow" other people to treat you like this, and afraid to step on anyones toes and at times keep comments to yourself. Perhaps your lesson to learn is being more "assertive" and saying if you don't like something, rather than quietly stewing. I think that your growing as a person, and have figured out the lesson you are working on. Perhaps its time to sit down and talk wtih your dad. We both know that he is too stubborn to admit that he has hurt you, and honestly probably to "macho" to realize that he has done anything wrong. Sit down and talk. Dont apologize with what happened, but try and ammend things and start talking again. I know that you both adore each other and both benefit from the relationship that you guys did have. I know he misses you:)
Please email me, cheri22@gmail.com and claim your family bypass. Your the winnder!
Very cool idea Cheri...
I will share my lesson learned. It was when I was around the age of 20 when I learned this lesson.
I was engaged to a man right out of high school. We were together for about three years when he decided he didn't want to do it anymore...he didn't want to get married. This was about two months prior to the wedding. His reason was because he didn't like the person I had become. I changed so he would be happy everything was always why don't you do this why don't you do that. My mom always does it like this. So slowly I changed until I couldn't recognize myself anymore. It felt as though the light was gone, and he didn't like who I had become. I was angry, alone, and scared to death. So I took some time off from men to just get back to someone I could look at in the mirror everyday.
I learned two lessons actually. I am stronger than I think, and if you have to change who you are to make someone happy you'll never make them happy. It is the idea of you they love not the person you are.
Hi lisa
I am glad that you recognized two lessons, I think that the main one was definately learning more about yourself, what you liked and what you didn't like, and who you were. That you were and are a strong person and don't give yourself enough credit. I see you before as very much a people pleaser, and would do things for other people before you would do for yourself. I think that on occasion you still do this, but your definately stronger because of your experience. Thanks so much for sharing!
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