the materna pills! I just had my first prenatal with my dr this morning and he asked me if I was taking Folic acid. I told him I was taking materna. This is when he asked me if I was feeling nausea and I said yes. He explained that materna does this to ALOT of women and for me to stop taking it. He said that you do not need to take materna until you are 16 weeks pregnant, and before that, just to take the folic acid and eat extra greens. I said that I had to agree as last night I forgot to take my materna pill before bed, and today I felt "fine" about 95% anyways! So I guess that explains why I have been feelings so off the last few weeks and its my own doing!
So like I am sure alot of the women who are currently trying to conceive, the majority of you are taking materna, consult your dr. Supposedly there are a lot of vitamins in it that your body can not digest until you are 16 weeks pregnant, and should be only taking the folic acid vitamin. Hopefully this will help others so they do not have to go through feeling like crap for the last three weeks! lol
On another note, my daughter (who is 4.5 years old) insists that our baby will be a girl. I asked her what would happen if this baby is a boy and she tells me that she will be mad. I know previous based on a vision I had before having kids, that I feel that this baby should be a boy... I have asked my guides to tell me the gender in a dream, and for me to remember when I wake up. Both dreams were that of baby girls. This is the same thing that happened when I was pregnant with my daughter and asked for the gender of the baby. (those dreams too included baby girls, including me giving birth to lego twins)
I can not read myself, so I am unsure to stick with boy as per my vision, or to go with girl based n the dreams I was provided and the convincing tone of that of my 4.5 year old who INSISTS its her sister (kids younger than 5 tend to be more psychic as they have not turned their gifts off)
On other news, I had to have my door lock re keyed. Okay not something that happens everyday, but would you believe its due to the fact that my MIL (Mother in law) treats my house as it has a revolving door? She seems to think that its okay to come in and out of our house without letting us know, and this really irks both me and my husband. He wants ME to ask her for our key back, but how do you ask without her getting offended, or making some excuse as to why she can't, and then secretly copying the key before giving us the "original".
When she stayed with us (she moved to BC from Ontario with my husbands Dad) and was with us for just over 4 weeks, she copied down my work number, and both mine and dh's cell number off a paper on the fridge. I told her to just take the paper, and she said "no, what if I need to call you guys while I am here" and I said" well wouldn't one of us be here?" and she was like "well I don't know, I might have to come for something and then need to call one of you guys".
So basically in a round about way, I told her that I did not want someone coming in and out of our house when we are not here (and I KNOW She snoops!!!!) and I know she has not listened.
I also told her, that I am not the type of person to want to see someone every single day. I don't mind with my husband or my daughter, or even my husbands sister, but there are only so many people you can see "everyday" before they start to annoy you and get on your nerves . I have amazing patience, so you know when this happens, its got to be really bugging me!. I told her even before she moved to BC that I could not do that (her and my husbands dad went almost every night to her sisters house - most of the family back there did that) and I said I don't know how her sister can do that. Anyways, I was completely honest with her about how I felt, and she said she agreed with me, That there was nothing to do there so they just go there, and that when they move here there are tons of things to do.
Did I mention that shes been at our house EVERY single night since last thursday? Including showing up yesterday without calling. I don't mind once in awhile someone pop in for a surprise visit, but she does this ALL THE TIME. Today, (its around 6pm as I right this) She has yet to show up.. I will be shocked if she does not show up, or at least call. They showed up yesterday and neither DH and I were home, so called my husband at around 8pm, to ask where he was, and why he was not home.. can you believe that? Asking my husband why he was not home and where was he.
I may sound like I am complaining, but I have been around this women for 11 years now, and she treats me and my husband like we are babies. Shows no respect for me or my feelings, including re-arranging my house and items in the house because its how she likes it, and thinks it looks better . (NO EXAGGERATION)
I am sorry you guys had to read this. I just need to vent and any advice on how to deal with her is always welcome! I have tried honesty, being straight forward, I have tried keeping my mouth shut and going along with it.. but shes controlling, manipulative, and if you give her an inch she'll take a yard.
I keep saying " i know she means well" but I am starting to realize if she really cares about how I feel. Having to re-key our locks sounds extreme, but when you think of the alternative, sounds much more work lol.
If you made it to the end, first person to reply in the comment section to say hi or cheer up or heck, even share their own mother/mother in law storey wins a prediction bypass (7.00 value)
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11 comments:
Cheri,
I don't really have any advice except to say that I hope the situation gets better! It sounds like you've tried just about everything, and it hasn't worked. On a good note, at least it does sound like she means well, and at least she isn't the evil, mean Mother In Law. I know it doesn't help, LOL. Maybe when you get the locks changed you can tell her it wasn't to be mean but that you and your DH would like a little privacy, but she is welcome to come around when one or both of you are home. I hope things work out!
Cheri,
I wanted to say that I ditto what Andrea said. I think she means well. She is just going about it the wrong way. Some people are just controling in that way. I love my mother very much but she can be very controling.
I read one time of this lady who had a really hard MIL to deal with. So on her husbands birthday she bought her mil flowers and wrote her a long letter. Thanking her MIL for her husband. And telling her what a great job she did of raising him into a man..so on and so on.
It's just a thought but maybe you could do something like that. Make her feel appreciated. And thank her. I know I would really enjoy that when my son was older. I hope things get better!
Hi Andea.. you know the drill, email me at cheri22@gmail.com with "blog winner" in the subject line so i can locate you.
As for MIL , I really hope she means well, but I also think that she wants us to "need" her.
I have tried being "nice" and just going with what shes saying, but it just seems the "more" you let her get away wtih, the harder she pushes. You should hear my stories! lol.
Thanks for the comments!
Cheri,
My MIL was the same way. She once even threw a dinner party at my house without even asking me. I just came home from work and found a whole bunch of people at my house!!!! It was awful. I really had to put my foot done and be very firm with her and let her know that it was unnacceptable. It helps that DH supported everything I said. What does you DH say about this? Has he told her to stop?
Cheri,
I'm pretty sure I have you beat with PIA mother-in-laws as mine actually told my dh that she thought I cheated on him because our second has blonde hair! HELLO! My sons are 14 months apart and half of my side of the family are blonde including my own mother and brother. He kicked her out and it was a while before they even spoke again. Thankfully, dh started traveling with his company and we have not been in the same state much less the same town for years and years.
Your MIL behavior is unacceptable and she and FIL really need to get a life of their own. Your dh is going to have to get firm with them as well and hope they will really listen to what you both are saying. Like you, I have a few people that I can be around everyday, but many of my friends and acquaintance would make me batty if I had to be around them every day.
I would have lost it the first time your MIL re-arranged your house. LOL! You really are a patient soul. Good luck with resolving the situation!
Hey Cheri
I know if this were me I would have lost it a long time ago. Its sad that she just doesn't get it. I don't really have any advice. Maybe tell her being pregant and all her visits seem to wear you out and maybe visit a little less, like once a week (I know that even seems like a lot lol!). Interesting info on the materna vitamins. I had no idea to wait till week 16! I had to take some medication for my morning sickness with Tara (I forget what it was called -- they were little white pills anyway -- helped with nausea) Anyway I hope your situation improves.
Lynn
aww..i am so sorry that this is happening to you..i have had a mother in law that drives me nuts to no end..i was one of the lucky ones...i am way down south while she resides way up north...and now i dont even have to deal with that part of the family...cheer up...change the locks and stand your ground...(((hugs))))
victoria
vmarshall0454@charter.net
I changed the locks;) so no worries there!
Dh agrees with what I say, but because he does not like conflict, and does not want to upset his mother, he wont say it to her face. He just secretly gets annoyed/pissed at her but just vents to me about it.
Shes been showing up pretty much everyday, I am really hoping it would die down once shes been here awhile, but it hasn't. its going to get to the point where I blow up and either DH deals with it, or the pregnant bitchy lady will show up! lol. Hopefully it will be the first part.
My family (my dad/his wife, my mom/her husband, my sister/her husband all live an hour drive, and would NEVER pop in unannounced now show up every day. Even when we lived in the same city and just a 5-15 min drive apart. So for My mother in law to do this, is driving me batty!
So glad to hear that everyone can relate!
Cheri, lock yourself out of the house, but have your car keys on you so you can drive to her house and "borrow" your door key and then oops... forget to return it. That's what we did with a neighbor we decided we didn't want having our key. That way you don't offend, but you keep her out when you're not there. That's just not right! Good luck!
AprilA
Oops... I missed the note about the changing of the locks. That's what I get for not reading all of the comments first. That was a good solution! :o)
AprilA
Cheri,
I can totally commiserate with you over your MIL troubles and know first hand the misery & disruption it causes. I wish I could offer some advice to make it better. From my experience, trying to politely talk to and reason with MIL to change never worked. It became almost comic to watch my husband & I trying to doge her or outsmart her next move, but you can't live like that!
We adopted the rule in our house where if there is a problem with my parents, then it's my job to speak to them and resolve it and vice versa. My husband sounds a lot like yours in the confrontation department (and I'm not much better), but things finally got bad enough to where he was ready to do his duty. We sat in bed the night before and strategized about what we wanted to say and how to present it. Then he sat his mother down and told her that we loved her and wanted to spend time with her, but we were also adults with jobs & family of our own and we had needs for privacy and alone time and to run our household the way we thought was best. He discribed how her behavior was negatively affecting us and told her that she needed to stop. He then outlined our new "rules" so to speak of what we thought was appropriate and what was unacceptable. She cried and got upset and he had to keep reassuring her that we loved her and wanted her in our lives, and ultimately I think she understood. She didn't like it, but she understood.
She didn't change really, she's still the same and tends towards the same behaviors, but we can control it and contain it a bit better now. There are a lot of reminder talks between my husband & MIL and whenever she tries to get into it with me, I just say you'll have to talk to my husband about that : ) It's been working really well. I think changing the locks was an excellent move and could be a good opportunity for your husband to have a little talk with your MIL! Good luck!!
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