A dream for real life

I didn't sleep well last night....heard a noise outside our window around 4am, and was instantly awake. It was more than likely an animal of some sort, but still enough to startle me and make it really hard to get back to goto sleep. After finally going back to sleep, I had a dream, that my grandfather died. Hes in his late 70's in real life, is not really doing well, is suffering from dementia and most nights drinks himself silly. Anyways, in the dream, I dreamt that he died.. I was crying in my dream, and being really sad that he had passed, and remember going to my grandmothers house for the wake. There she had two tables set up, and decorated in a christmas theme. There were mini trees on each table and the table clothes and accessories were all christmas themed. I remember helping my grandmother move the clothes around in the closet for her, and half of them were baby girls clothes, and the other half were baby boy clothes. All brand new with tags. I thought it was strange, but helped her anyways. I then realize that I felt my grandfathers presence. I knew he was there, and when I looked over at the couch, there he was sitting there. I was shocked, because he did not look as he did right now, but appeared as if he was closer to 30, and he seemed happy. I know when we pass on to the other side, that we all appear to be in our 30s so when I awoke, the first thing i did was call my mom to see if everything was okay. (which it was)

She then went on to tell me what has been happening with my grandfather, I guess last week he "escaped" and went into their car, the neighbour called my grandmother to let her know he was there. (he is NOT allowed to drive legally) When she got down there, he told her that she was gone to their cabin for too long looking for red riding hood and that he was going to go and find her. (first off, they do NOT have a cabin!)

My grandmother is trying to get him assessed to get some help as shes just beside herself with trying to do things for him. He drinks EXCESSIVELY, is verbally abusive, goes to bed really early and often trying to demand that she does too (around 6pm) and then since he goes to bed so early is up early and often demanding she wake up. So shes getting no sleep. She gets very limited breaks from him to go out as hes constantly worried about where she is going, often not remembering when or where. She can go to the store for his medication for 10 minutes and he tells her she was gone all day.

I got ahold of a woman who works for the Alzheimer's society here who can help my grandmother get my grandfather properly assessed. The company that usually goes, wants to go in the morning and hes always at his best as hes not started his drinking. The woman on the phone said that she can get it arranged so that they come later in the evening when he is his "usual" self, and all I needed to know was who was doing the assessments and they would take care of the rest. After calling my grandmother, and explaining what i needed and how i planned to help, she said she would wait till the assessment on the 11th or March (morning appt) and see what happens there. Problem is, that she tells my grandfather that they are coming, and because its first thing in the morning and he has not gotten into the alcohol yet, hes usually quite charming and not like he is later.
I am frustrated. I have no idea how to help my grandmother. She complains alot about what is happening, how overwhelmed she is... I can only imagine what she and my grandfather both go through with his illness......

So, has anyone ever dealt with this before, and can give me any ideas on how to help without stepping on any ones toes?