I am having a cheerful day today which is good because MIL showed up yesterday un-announced. (yes again!)My husband was taking my daughter with him to the river for a visit with some other friends that were going to be there, they planned on being gone an hour to an hour and a half. Just as they got their shoes on and jackets, hand ready to open the door, who comes knocking on the door? Yep. my mother in law.
My husband explains that him and my daughter and just rushing out the door, in the hopes that she might just turn around and go home knowing that they are leaving.. but nope, she heads up stairs and stays to chat with me for over an hour before leaving. I try to be polite, as I do like my mother in law for the most part, but just get annoyed at times. I was though looking forward to having an hour of me time, but hey what can you do.
Turns out, my mother in law admitted to being lonely. Its just her and her husband that moved to BC in August (2007) and yet to have really made friends their own age, which I guess in turn is why they rely on my husband and his sister (and me and my daughter) so much for something to do. I must have given her 101 solutions on things she should try to make new friends, but with her husband being 65, has no interest in being social at this point, with stating that there is no point in making new friends as they will just die anyways. (I know, horrible attitude to have!) I explained that it should not stop my mother in law from trying new things, perhaps volunteering..etc she had an excuse for pretty much anything I said. (except one, which I believe shes looking into today as well.)
I dont want my mother in law to field alienated, but like her dh, I do like having some peace and quiet and not a "Social butterfly". I dont have to be around people all the time besides my husband and daughter of course!lol. I need the space!lol.
So with feeling a bit sorry for my mother in law and her situation, and yet still having a good "cheerful day" I am offering one person the chance for a family bypass reading. This is a 25.00 value and will cover ANY aspect of life. All you have to do, is come up with a few suggestions that might help my mother in law socialize with other people (besides just her son and daughter! lol) Whether she actually follows up on the suggestion or not, is up to her, but all you have to do is suggest a few things. Everyone who posts a reply (either to the comments section or through cheri22@gmail.com) will be entered to win. I will leave this "contest" open until Friday at midnight (Pacific standard time) and will then draw a name from the people who supplied ideas, and announce the winner!
6 comments:
Take up knitting! There is a great online community as well as many people who organize regular meetings in areas all across the country. It's fun and relaxing, as well as productive, and then she can supply your little ones with cute knitted garments!
A great site to find some knitters near you is ravelry. Just have to sign up and wait for the invitation e-mail, but is a great place to meet people with similar interests.
Or she could volunteer at the local schools. Take a course in something she has always wanted to learn.
That's all I can come up with.
Good luck!
My mom is a bit of a loner (runs in the family!) and she recently got into quilting. Not only does it give her a nice hobby to occupy her time, she regularly meets with other women at quilting bees. I have to say, it has been a great thing for her. Plus, I like getting quilts. ;-)
You know, while my boys were in the NICU at the hospital, one of the best things we experienced were the "cuddlers" that came in once a week. These women volunteered their time to come in and hold the NICU babies while parents weren't there. It was wonderful!
I think I will do that when I am retired. Is there a hospital around your MIL where she could volunteer or something? Even if it doesn't allow her to make tons of friends, it will give her something valuable to do with her time.
She could also volunteer to read stories to young children at the local library. Kids love that!
Hello,
Here are a few suggestion I could come up with, hope your MIL is blessed with a few friends.She could find some local groups that need her help. Join some clubs and organizations that involve younger people and not just seniors. Remember to be friendly and approachable, and keep an open mind. Or I would suggest that she find activities around her new surrounding that interests her, maybe going to church, another way to meet new people. Look in the paper and find out if there are groups that might interest her, also maybe she can get to know her neighbors?! Or possibly they could hold a open house, where they (her) could meet all the neighbors, never know she might meet someone she has things in common with. If she works possibly make friends with Co workers?. She could do an Internet search for people her age, what is available in the community!
Julie Pleake
Eclipce143@aol.com
They have craft classes at the library and craft stores. They normally have small classes that give you a chance to be crafty while chatting with others. Mom mom met a friend at a pottery class at the library.
They also have really fun bowling teams. You can do couples or just her if her husband doesn't want to bowl. It's a fun game that doesn't require much stamina and is easy on the bones and joints of those in their 60's!
I crochet with a few friends and we meet up about once a week.We all sit around and talk and crochet and the time just flies by. We compare patterns and yarns. It's such a fun hobby and very rewarding. Once you get the hang of crocheting, you are addicted to finding cute patterns and making cute blankets and baby hats and such. I know she will love it!
My grandmother took a pottery class and many jewelry classes at the junior/community college when she was about 60 and she hasn't slowed down yet (she is 84!). They were very enjoyable and she made some really good friends that had the same interests. Her taking a computer class (if she has a computer) may be good for her, I know they offer senior classes around here for that. Or even a swim class would help.
I think the best thing is find something she likes, be it knitting, reading to kids, pottery, quilting or volunteering, and find people that are into the same things.
I hope she finds something, it's hard to live in a new place and sometimes it's even harder making new friends.
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