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Friday, May 28, 2010

Another option out there?

I recently got an email from my client talking about embryo adoption. I had NEVER heard of this before and thought that perhaps some of you have not either and would like to hear about other options. Here is my clients story.

One thing I’ve learned is that there are many different paths to parenthood. Our own personal journey led my husband and I toward embryo adoption.
For us, adoption was always a backup plan. Four years ago- before seven IUI’s, two IVFs and a small fortune in meds- we explored our thoughts and resolved that if we can’t get pregnant, we will adopt.

We felt that our second round of IVF might be our last hope of having our own biological child. We started with two fresh cycles, but both failed. So our last FET with two leftover embryos from the previous cycles truly seemed like our absolute last chance. It resulted in a pregnancy, but then sadly a miscarriage after nine weeks.

According to our original plan, our next step was the adoption agency. We had already selected an agency about a year ago, and had learned as much as we could about the adoption process.
But during this very sad time, my acupuncture doctor suggested embryo adoption. I had heard of that option before, but as with other possible options, I had never really considered it.
While lots of my friends in my support group were discussing donor eggs, I really was not drawn to that. And surrogacy never came to my mind either, maybe because of the enormous expensive. We agreed that we are not going to have a child and be completely broke.

But somehow embryo adoption sounded more and more interesting to us as we looked into it. If you know anything about regular adoption, then you know that it can be very expensive, with lots of legal requirements.

Embryo adoption -as presented to us- seemed like a much easier route. Basically, couples that have had IVF treatments often have left over embryos that are kept preserved in cold storage. If they conceive without using all of their stored embryos, they can choose to donate their leftovers for adoption.

For people in our situation, this process bypasses many of the legal hurdles of full adoption. And often- not always- there is only the cost of the frozen embryo transfer and legal fees. Altogether, it can be up to ten times less expensive than adoption!

Not all IFV clinics have an embryo adoption program, but we were lucky enough to be referred by my acupuncture doctor to one that does. While some embryo adoption programs can be a lot more complicated than others, on the whole it’s less complicated than the full adoption process.

I had accepted that my being pregnant was not as important as having a child of our own no matter how we got there. Still, I find the prospect of being pregnant and carrying our adopted child to be a major plus of embryo adoption. Of course I know that there is no guarantee of success, but as ever, there is always hope.

L.

6 comments:

Amanda said...

I just suggested to someone who was having a tough time conceiving a baby with her husband and after some miscarriages and her talking about how expensive adoption can be so I suggested this to her as a option to look into. Wishing everyone the best. I knew a couple who had a very tough conceiving so they adopted twins and it wasnt long after they adopted them they conceived biologically two of their own children as well.

Craig R. Sweet, M.D. said...

Embryo donation is an excellent option for a number of patients. Some programs that offer embryo "adoption" are really "middle-men" charging extra fees. Embryo donation allows you to bond, nurture, protect and deliver the pregnancy. To learn more about it, try to Google "embryo donation". In whatever process you decide to do, good luck. Hope you don't mind a post from a physician....

Cheri22 said...

Hi Craig, everyone is welcome to post and all comments are treasued. Its nice to share information. Its also nice to hear your two cents so that my clients can hear it from a professional as well.

Melissa @MotherhoodWantd said...

I have never heard of this before. It sounds intriguing. However, I have to wonder that if a couple has a hard time carrying their own embryos to term, what is the likelihood that they'll be able to carry an adopted embryo to term?

And surely there'd have to be some sort of testing to make sure adoptive mom is compatible with the embryo in some way? I'm going to have to check this out because it raises so many questions.

Thanks for posting this Cheri!

Lennuk said...

Craig, I have heard that some programs are very similar to regular adoption. You have to "sell" yourself to the owners of the embryos. And even it's not ethical to "buy" embryos, I have heard there are some charges and they supposedly add up.
If you have already have RE ask if their clinic has embryo adoption program. Ask around, call to the clinics.
I had to leave my 3rd RE because their clinic doesn't have the program. He said that we could do it through middle-man and that's where it starts to add up.

Melissa, usually people who donate have lots of embryos left. Most of the donations are coming from the couples who have used donor eggs. So, the beauty of it is that donor eggs are usually from young girls. And embryos are much stronger because of that!
If you are 40 years old then your chances with these younger eggs are much higher.
I really don't think there is much testing going on if the embryos are compatible and stuff... Obviously it works as people do it and have good results. And I know people who have done donor eggs and have done surrogacy. It works.

Anyway... we all have to get there. 4 years ago, even year ago I never in million years thought about embryo adoption. Even year ago I thought that we will not do IVF either. You can't rush these things. You take a next step when you are READY!

I wish good luck to everyone and truly wish that no one has to suffer from infertility, because yearning for the baby is painful!

Jen said...

Hi,

Thanks for posting about Embryo Adoption. We have been blessed with twins because of it. Please visit my blog created with another mom who is about to deliver her embryo adoption miracle for more information:

http://3babes2jens1cause-embryoadoption.blogspot.com/

Best of Luck!!!