On Monday that just passed, my friend had to rush her newborn to the hospital. Apparently his heart was racing. After getting him to a local hospital they airlifted both mom and baby to Children's Hospital in Vancouver. He was only born in mind June, so you can imagine how "newborn" he is.
It turns out that they think he might have "Wolfe Parkinson's", where there is an extra part in the heart that is "firing" and causing his heart to race, and the more upset he gets about this, the higher it goes. Apparently its gotten as high as 300 beats per minute. (his regular is 120 from what I have been told?) They had to shock him FOUR TIMES the first day to get his heart restarted after it failed. They used paddles of some sort on him.
This family has been through a lot. The wife is a stay at home mom to their newborn son and three year old daughter (Shes four in OCT) and the husband due to a work place accident (nearly took his life) had to be retrained for a new job, and has been applying everyone and has yet to find any work for himself. (with the recession, its been hard here too) He has been "told" that the field he has been trained for, should be hiring in OCTOBER! Hard news to hear for someone who is running out of unemployment in 1.5 weeks.
I really feel for this family. As of today, they are currently living in "Easter seals' house which has allowed them to remain close to the baby and not having to travel back and forth each day for 2 hours each way.
My friend has suggested we go and clean their house for them. More than likely they will remain in the hospital for at least a few more days. They have been told by nurses that their son will more than likely be on this expensive medication for the rest of his life. (they hope at the age of 6/7 they can operate and see if they can dissolve this extra part) They are also to be trained as to notice when his heart starts to act up and when he might be in cardiac arrest and what to do.
I can not imagine being in their shoes. I know I would literally sleep with the baby in my bed and barely sleep, always watchful for any sign that he might be in pain or cardiac arrest.
So my hopes are to goto their house and help clean it up for when they arrive home. My friend also suggested we talk to their friends and family and see if anyone has any extra food and or diapers..etc for the family to make things easier.
So here is my question to you all. For those of you who have been in this situation or know of someone who has,(or even something similar) what is the best thing needed for a family in need? Should I make a bunch of freeze type family meals? If so, what? I would hate to spend alot of time on something to find that they did not like that. I know that the younger one has a dairy allergy.
if anyone has ANY Suggestions on how i can help I would love it. Does not matter if its a recipe, a link to recipes, something I can do, someone who I could contact on their behalf.. any information is better than what I have right now.
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11 comments:
Cheri,
I will keep your friend in my prayers! My daughter was in the NICU for a little over 2 months, so I have a little experience in this area.
Based on her circumstances/situation, the biggest help for her would be financial. Not money per se, but like you said - meals and diapers. The frozen meals would be the best (since all they would have to do is reheat them), but since they have a child with an allergy, maybe between friends and family you could just come up with money or gift card/certificates, and then have somebody go to the grocery store for them, after they give a general guideline or list. And then to take it a step further, maybe somebody could even cook a few meals for them after the grocery trip. Coincidentally, DD has a dairy allergy, so since I'm BF'ing I have to be dairy free. If you want to still freeze a meal or 2, a pasta dish would be best. I find that those are both kid friendly, and also have no cheese (unless one wants to add it). I usually just use any kind of pasta, ground beef/turkey, and my favorite jarred pasta sauce.
The other thing is since they have another child, she is probably going to be feeling left out sometimes, so it would also be nice to have somebody spend some special time with her. Maybe take her out every once in a while, or babysit. Or even get little things to occupy her time, like videos (if Mom allows TV), coloring books, etc. That would also take some pressure off Mom, so then she only has one child to worry about for a little while, and could maybe get some rest.
The last thing, like you said, is the housecleaning. Maybe somebody could come over once a week or so. I know LAUNDRY is the biggest time consumer in my household, so even somebody just doing my laundry every once in a while would free up a lot of time.
In terms of people to contact for 'help', I can't really help you out there, since the healthcare/assitance programs in the US are different than those in Canada, but I'm sure there has to be something to help out, especially since they are pretty soon going to be without income for a while and have a specail needs child. I hope someone from Canada can chime in on that aspect.
I hope that helped a little bit!
Cheri,
I will be keeping this family in my thoughts and prayers...
Patty D.
I will be thinking of your friend. I cannot immagine how hard this must be. I agree with Andrea that financia help would be the best in some form, because they were alreay stressed about that and it is so distressing when you have to choose between paying the utility bill and buying expensive medication (I know I've been there). One idea is to see if you or any of her friends/family have extra junk lying around that they would be donating, instead hold a garage sale in benefit for the family. In Texas we have a lot of BBQ benefits in the parking lots of grocery stores, Wal-Mart is particullarly nice about letting people use thier space. So maybe a concession stand or car wash might help.
A BIG help might be to find out who the manufactuer of the medications are. Most of the drug manufactuers offer perscription assistance for those who cannot afford thier medications.
My heart goes out to your friend and her family. Such a tragic story.
Years ago my friend was hospitalized and in the ICU. She was hospitalized for 2 months while she recovered. I spend an entire day cooking and freezing meals for her husband who greatly appreciated it (since he didn't know how to cook).
If you're worried about food allergies, perhaps you can volunteer to watch her kids from time to time so that mom can get some rest.
Or maybe start up a fund to help them cover the medical bills. I'm sure that others would also pitch in to donate.
Whatever you do, I'm sure that it will be appreciated.
I hope that they recover soon.
I will pray for your friend Cheri. Hope everything turns out good and that the baby stay healthy.
You could cook and freeze meat, just the meat. That way the could do whatever with it.
Or gift cards for places to eat that are close to where their son is would be great I think.
I'll keep them in my prayers and light a candle for them!
I'll keep her in my prayers! I can't imagine the stress and pain she is going through, I hurt when my son even bonks his head on something!! Yes, offering to help clean or making freezable meals would be a really good thing. Just have to make sure you know if they're allergic to any foods first. I wish them well and pray their lives are smoother.
My sister has had a rough road with her twins since they were born and a year later, it is still rough. I won't go into details, but I will say that it has been hard to see her go through such heart ache with her babies.
Just being there to support her and sending care packages to show you care and are thinking about them could be a wonderful thing. Money is always great, but for some it may be hard to except. Gift certificates are the best.
Finding a bunch of people to sign up to supply meals for their family is great as well. My church did that for my family when I had a rough time at the hospital with my delivery. It meant a lot to me. It was a relief to know my family was fed and I did not need to worry about them and could concentrate on the baby.
Just find out what the allergies are and work around it. I would not let allergies stop people from providing meals. There is nothing like a tasty meal made with love to heal your soul! I personally think hot is better than frozen. I am sure you could find a group of people to split up a week and volunteer to cook meals for this family in need.
I will keep them in my prayers.
Wow, I feel for the mother and the family. My prayers and thoughts go out to them in this difficult situation. I could not imagine having to see a loved on, especially a baby, going through that :(
I think you are on the right track though, food/dinners would be a good thing for them. Maybe a giftcard to a coffee shop if they drink coffee because I'm sure they will need it!
I have a question though, with your ability, can you already see what is going to happen with their son? If you can, how do you deal with that? Do you tell the parents, keep it to yourself? I could not imagine having that type of info (especially if it's bad) and being able to know if something worse is for them down the road. Get what I'm saying?
Sorry I've just always been curious with psychics and situations like these.
Hi Briterz,
sometimes reading people that you are close with is alot harder. I have become friends with some of my clients and now find it more difficult to read them.
For this family, although they are not close, I find myself too emotionally attached to this situation that I am unable to see past what might come. I think it has more to do with meeting this baby and knowing this family for over 3 years now, that its harder to predict something. So no, I am not able to see what will happen, although I have been scared to get a phone call to be told he has not made it . Hopefully thats not a premonition!
Thanks Cheri for answering. It was just a curious question. I'm glad to read in your most updated entry that the family is home now :) My prayers still go out to them and their son!
Brittany
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