It all started with my dad and his wife supposed to be coming by on Saturday, as it was my dad's third year of being sober. Yep, you heard that right, my dad is officially 3 years sober. I can tell you that from a young child I do remember my dad drinking alot, getting drunk and the adults always appeared to be having fun. As I got older, seems my dad drank more. It was when my Great Aunt died that things seemed to get worse. My dad's side of the family all thought he would inherit the money upon her death, as he was the one who actually spent the time looking after her, visiting her, as the other two brothers and sister were always so busy. I remember as a young kid the whole family would joke about it, and always ask my dad if he would split it evenly, and he always ensured that he would. (I know horrible for a family to discuss when someone was alive, but they did! ACK!) Well when she passed away, she left it to my Aunt (my dad's oldest sister) and when my dad enquired as to her intentions, she said she was keeping it all. This really upset my dad, as he felt betrayed, and downward spiraled emotionally and ended up drinking even more. He would drink so much that he would be passed out drunk around 5pm at night at the latest.. fall over drunk.
So it was one night like that, my dad's wife called me and told me to send my husband over as my dad had fallen and she could not get him up. I felt horrible, although my dad and his wife lived across the street from us in an apartment, I could not actually tell my husband how to get in, what number they were, or even where to find the apartment! I had to go myself leaving my husband to watch our daughter.
I got there, my dad laying on the ground of their living room and I LOST it on him. I told him that he was slowly drinking himself to death. I asked him if he enjoyed laying on the carpet and if this was his idea of a good time. I started bawling, and freaking and getting mad at him. He started crying as well, and from that day on, he decided to make a change in his life. The weeks to follow he drank only the non-alcoholic beer, and in August three years ago, checked himself into a private detox facility. This is where the change happened and for what I am thankful for. As as mentioned above, my dad is now officially three years sober.
So celebrating that on Saturday was a big thing for all of us, found out that my cousin from about 5 hour drive was coming into town, so invited her along, and because she was staying with my aunt and uncle, we invited them along! To top it all off, the second they left, we had to head for a birthday party that my daughter was invited to. After getting home, baby had decided that she was not really in the "sleeping" mood and anytime I actually sat down to get something done she would wake up. She just wanted to cuddle. Normally when I do not get a chance to do my readings in the morning (I do majority now in the morning during babies morning nap) My husband will watch her at night so I can get caught up. Wouldn't you know it, its the night he has plans and she decides shes not a happy camper! lol
Then on Sunday was my mom's husbands 60th birthday party, I did as much as I could online yesterday morning before heading to the party for 1pm. Both our eldest and our baby were well behaved, we all ate tons of food, including staying there and eating dinner as there was so much left over from lunch! Then on the tv came Extreme Makeover Home Edition. Now I am not an "over the top" social person, I like to sit and chat, but I also was getting tired and wanted to relax, so decided to watch tv and I love that show. Every time when they say "move that bus" I just love to watch the emotional expression on the peoples face and often find myself crying with them. I love to watch "happy" stories as so many times now a days you find on TV things that are more "negative' or sad. I though the show was over at 9pm, and turns out that its not over till 10pm!!! So we got home just after 10, and then had to feed the baby, and get both kids into bed as well as myself! lol.
So I am starting my morning as being half a day behind, hoping to get all of that completed, and then complete all of today's. I dont mind the occasional busy weekend, but thankful for the ones that are relaxing as well.
So there is not much point to this post, perhaps a bit of an update, perhaps giving you a glimpse into my life and whats happening, including the information about my dad. Perhaps that can also give people hope, that even when someone is an alcoholic and seems like they will never stop, there is a turning point for everyone:) Sometimes they just need a kick in the arse from family.
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3 comments:
Wow! Congratulations to your dad! ANd to you for having the courage to let him have it! You probably saved his life. He's so lucky to have you as his daughter :) You have had a VERY busy weekend. Hopefully you'll get some time to yourself to relax.
Krystal
I have a father who has a drinking problem. I've tried so many times to let him know how I feel and that he should stop. He doesn't think he has a problem. He walks away from me when I try to talk to him about it. Or he tells me that he's got stress on him from work and bla bla bla and it's ok because he drinks at the house and not at a bar, and since he drinks wine he's not a drunk either. I feel that it's a lost cause. I tell him that I don't want to be around him while he's drinking. He doesn't seem to care much. I just hope one day he opens his eyes and sees that he is better than the drink that he puts in his mouth. Cheri it is great that your father has been 3 years sober!!!!! I hope one day I can say the same ; ) CB
Congrats to your sober dad!
I just recently lost my dad. He was alcoholic. He could stay sober for a months and then he fell again for weeks. He didn't admit that he had this problem. He blamed it on genes (?).
Anyway... We were always afraid that it will end in "this" way. So, we don't know if he turned 68 or not. It was his birhtday and we all started to call him to wish Happy Birhtday! There was no answer. He was found in his living room. He had high blood pressure problem and high blood sugar. He had drank for a weeks and didn't eat well. That's what probably killed him.
The main thing is to forgive to myself. There was lots of grief at the beginning, but now I feel kind of angry with him. He wasn't bad person at all. I realized that I don't have very good memories of him. That really upset me. And I know in my deep down that he wanted the best.
Ah, now I'm all sad again.
I just need to work with myself. I don't need to feel guilty and I should not be angry with him.
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